Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas... And One HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hurray for Christmas! I'm half way done! In just six days I'll be home again. Just in time for New Years. This morning has been... interesting. But interesting in the usual way. My sister yelled at my parents for being disorganized, crazy and annoying and I got blamed for it. I cooked breakfast this morning and cleaned up and my sister got credit for it. During our traditional Christmas breakfast my parents talked and talked about how wonderful my sister is then grilled me on how exactly I became the complete worthless piece of white dung I am now. Then we opened presents... and a Christmas miracle happened... because... well... there was one under there for me! I got a car stereo. It was just what I wanted and I'm so excited to have it installed when I get home... but mostly I'm just excited to get home. My sister's getting ready now to take me to Starbucks. She's still completely disgruntled with me for not going to the bar with her last night. But I think she'll get over it once I buy her a latte. No Wild Turkey or pot to be seen yet... but I'll keep you posted... :o)

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Christmas Eve

So, it's Christmas Eve. The time has come. As tradition claims, tonight will go semi-smoothly. However, by tomorrow it'll be a Christmas mess. Perhaps though, this tradition will go to the dogs too. We've already stopped having stockings and we quit the tradition of me getting any gifts on Christmas quite a few years ago. I don't think we're opening up a present tonight. Another tradition bites the dust. So maybe, just maybe, the tradition of Christmas hell will also be discontinued. It only seems fair that it should go too.

On the plus side, it's a little after 7pm and I've only been home for a half hour. I babysat from 8am until 6:30pm and it was wonderful! Hurray for excuses to be around people who find me absolutely delightful! Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003


There are babies everywhere. I spent my entire day today babysitting. I babysat four very sick children (ages 10 mo, 2yrs, 5 yrs and 8 yrs) from 10am until 5pm. Then I babysat eight children (ages 10 mo, 2yrs, 3yrs, 5yrs, 6yrs, 6yrs, 8yrs, 8yrs) from 5pm to 9:30pm. It was crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

Tomorrow morning I'm babysitting again at 8am for five kids (ages 1yr, 3yrs, 5yrs, 7yrs, 9yrs). There are kids everywhere!


Saturday, December 20, 2003

Hansen Christmas Is For The Dogs


Our tree, once decorated with ornaments created by young Judy, Emily and Wayne hands amidst beautiful Christmas ornaments with stories of their own have now been replaced with ornaments for our dogs. There are bone ornaments, puppy ornaments, dogs dressed as Santa, dogs dressed as elves, dogs with candy canes, dogs with stars... it's actually really embarassing.

The Christmas decorations all around the house have a common theme... dogs, dogs, dogs. Everything says either Oreo or Mitzi on it. All the Christmas treats are in their Christmas tins and on their Christmas plates but they all say things like "Liver flavored" or "Special Doggie Christmas Delight" on them. Not for me. For the dogs.

There are presents already wrapped with great care placed under the tree and hidden in my parents' room. But they all say "To: Oreo; From: Santa" or "To: Mitzi; From: Mom and Dad." It's sick. The wrapping paper even has Santas and doggie bones on it.

I've been home for less than 24 hours but if my mom makes me refer to those dogs as my sisters one more time I swear I'm going to snap. I refuse to give up my chair or my food when one of them stares at me and blinks. I refuse to believe that that hurts their feelings and choose to believe instead that they're as confused as I am as to why the house has exploded into an embarassing display of tinsel and puppies.

This Christmas is for the dogs.
Northwest Christmas

It's raining. Quite appropriate really. But it's also green and beautiful. I have no more tears to cry and my half dead appearance can be blamed on my three hours of sleep last night. So far I have been attacked by two dogs and a few cats, watched my brother bowl for a few hours while being introduced to all my mom's white trash friends (who are actually quite delightful!), did six word search puzzles and ate two candy canes. I smell like dog and cigarette smoke. I've heard more cussing and seen more color than I have in four months and it's barely noon. Ah, home sweet home... Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 19, 2003

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Hurray for being 23. Hurray for AMAZING friends who put tons of work into a fantastic surprise party. Hurray for being done with work for a few weeks. Hurray for the sunshine outside. Hurray for tons and tons of candy canes. Hurray for Excedrin PM. Hurray for friends with phone numbers. Hurray for 22 first graders who think I'm cool. Hurray for chocolate. Hurray for birthdays, thoughtful and wonderful friends, airplanes, drugs and prayer.


Monday, December 15, 2003

Right On Schedule

Everything is going according to planned. But I don't remember planning these events. In fact I don't even remember when all of this stuff was originally planned at all and I don't recognize the handwriting. But somehow I know I'm right on schedule, whether I like the upcoming events or not. But good news... January starts a whole new year and with new years come new day planners with new events... better events... and in my own handwriting.

Saturday, December 13, 2003


There are a few things that I feel very strongly about...
1 - The Down-Play Theory
2 - Letting the little things go
3 - Chocolate

To be continued... or not...

Friday, December 12, 2003

GRE Madness

I've spent the last two hours studying for the GRE. I spent five hours yesterday doing the same thing. And I expect to use the next two hours reviewing the same questions I have now missed twenty million times in a row. I take the test at 8am tomorrow morning and since the test is computerized, as soon as I'm finished my score will flash on the screen like an unwanted pornography pop-up. I'll do my best not to cry or throw anything at the screen and get up acting as if I just qualified for Stanford, walk to my car, cry frustrated tears, then drive to the mall and spend money I don't have until five o'clock when the ward gets to SLC to see the lights. At this point I'll pretend like nothing happened, wander around with the ward, probably get white-washed by Steve and then move on with life. Such is the GRE... such is life...

Thursday, December 11, 2003


As the last week of classes come to a close and finals week quickly approaches I'm reminded of a great life lesson that I'd like to share with you. It goes something like this...

Pbbbbttttt!!! I'm graduated! No finals for me! Woohoo!!

Wise words... wise words...

Tuesday, December 02, 2003


For interactive writing time, the teacher gives the kids an ending sound and then the kids raise their hands to tell her the words they thought of that end in that way. Then the teacher spells it for them as they write it on some big paper at the front of the class. Then I cut them out and tape them to corresponding shapes.

Yesterday was the -ell sound. Imagine the possibilities! (I had one in particular running through my head right after I ran into the bookshelf for the tenth time today.) I looked over the words they had written yesterday in their cute first-grader handwriting. Bell, tell, Nell, fell, smell, jell... What? Jell. That's right. Jell.

I laughed. I couldn't help it. I asked the teacher if she wanted me to tape "jell" to the shape of the bell with the other words even though jell wasn't a real word.

"But gel is a word."
"Right. But this is j-e-l-l."
"How do you spell it then?"
"But jelly is j-e-l-l-y and jell-O is spelled j-e-l-l-o-w."
"Jell-O is spelled J-e-l-l-o."
"Isn't it spelled like yellow?"
"No. And even though jelly and jell-O are with a "j", gel is with a "g" because it's short for gelatin."
"Oh, well... if you're sure then don't tape it up."

And that was that. Jell? And Jellow? For heaven's sake! There's even a song for that one! Jell-O's had the same jingle for the last 50 years! J-E-L-L-O!

Monday, December 01, 2003

Moments of Surprise

Sometimes I surprise myself. For example, after just getting sick because I drank a milkshake, why would I decide that cereal with milk would be a good idea? When panicking and crying this morning, why did I decide that calling my dad would be the best option? Who knew that it was possible to be late to work three times in one day? I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. Actually, I'm kind of surprised that I'm surprised... hmmm... interesting...