Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween!

I was a pizza today. And then the Spirit of Christmas.

I watched all of the kids at the school parade around and I taught... nothing.

I talked to Heather and went to a party.

And played Speed Scrabble with the Freestones.

I found out that Leah's coming for a visit THIS weekend!

I ate a delicious breakfast sandwich from Gandolfo's.

And got a really nice compliment from my professor.

Good day. Good day.

How was your Halloween?

Monday, October 24, 2005

Mountain Time

I made the trip back from Seattle in twelve hours. I was cookin'. I was exhausted and smelly so I took a shower and then crawled into bed.

It was a rough night. It took me a while to fall asleep and it was a tossy and turny kind of night. When my alarm clock went off at 7am I didn't know where I was. Was I in Seattle? Where's Shelby and Preston? Was I in Utah? Is this my bed?

When I finally caught a hold of reality I jumped up and started getting ready for the day. I was replying to an email when I looked up at the right hand corner of my iBook and it said 8:30. 8:30? What's wrong with my computer? I looked at the wall. 8:30. 8:30!!

And then it dawned on me. I use my cell phone for my alarm clock. I turned my cell phone over to Pacific Time while I was in Seattle. And then forgot to change it back to Mountain Time!

I was wearing my work pants and my pajama top. No make-up. Hair in a ratty pony tail. Didn't care. I grabbed my purse and ran for my car. I was supposed to be at work at 8. The kids come in at 8:30. When I got there, they were waiting for me in my mentor teacher's room. I went in and picked them up and brought them to my class.

"Where were you? I've never had a TEACHER late before!"

Shut up.

Friday, October 21, 2005

No Market for Kids

My grandma used to talk about me to her friends in front of me. Always good things. She'd tell her friends about my good grades or something I did for her and then she'd pull my face up to hers by holding up my chin and say, "It's too bad there's no market for kids."

For years I had no idea what that meant. I was probably in middle school before I realized it was a compliment.

I spent the whole day with her today. I got there at 7am and left around 8pm. I comforted her before her tests and reassured her after. I helped feed her, spoke to her doctors and talked to her about old times.

She thanked me over and over for coming. She bragged to the nurses about how she must have done something right to have her grandchild come so far to see her. And I could suddenly hear an echo from years before, my grandmother lifting my chin, smiling into my eyes and saying, "Too bad there's no market for kids."

Thursday, October 20, 2005


We went from a leaky breast implant, to a heart attack, to a spot on her liver. She suddenly can't remember where she is, what's going on and why she's wearing somebody else's flimsy robe.

And I just don't know what to do.

Back in Seattle Again

I'm in Seattle. Again.

I'm so tired...

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Teaching Tragedies

You know what I love about my new job? Getting sick.
All the time.

Sick, sick, sick.

That's me.

I disninfected my whole classroom yesterday. Twice.

And yet... I'm sick again.

But at least I have a 4-day weekend this week.


Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

Friday, October 14, 2005

Bleeding from the Eyes

I went to the doctor today.

Because although my eyes look better, the redness is spreading. Ew.

But apparantly, I don't have Pink Eye.

No... instead tons of blood vessels decided to explode at once. This is due to stress.

Therefore, I am so stressed that I am bleeding from the eyes!

I am so messed up.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Dear Eyes,

Aaaggghhh!! Why are you blood red? You look like something out of a horror movie. I think. I don't really watch horror movies. But I don't because I'm scared I'll see eyes that look like the ones that now reside in my own head. Why? Why? Why?

Bite me,

Dear Anonymous Kid,

I don't know who you are or where you sleep. But I'll find out. And then not another day will go by that I won't be following you around with hand sanitizer.

Watch it,
Miss Hansen

Dear Bishop,

Thanks for letting me come over last night and looking at my nasty eyes. Also, thanks for letting me dip into your personal pharmacy in an effort to heal me.

You're my hero,

Dear Kat,

I'm sorry that I gave you Pink Eye. Please accept my apology and this bar of chocolate.


Monday, October 03, 2005

Dear Lady In My Class,

Bright pink lipstick does NOT go with everything. It just doesn't. Especially orange. Or green. Or purple. In fact, it doesn't go with anything a normal human being should wear. Please, please, just stop. You're hurting me. Also, if you inerrupt lecture to ask another question about Tier 2 and how that applied to each of your students in an individual basis one more time I'm going to snap.

Thanks so much,
The Pained