I spent thirty minutes today after work looking for two first-graders. Samuel and Spencer. These two six-year-olds each left their homes with their backpacks, got on the bus to go to school, but instead of going to school when they arrived, they ditched out, ran into the adjoining park and hid in the dumpster.
At lunch time they decided it would be a good idea to walk across the park to the school, into the front office and ask the secretary there if they could have some matches to start a fire to "keep warm." Good plan guys.
They were, of course, denied and the boys ran back out to their dumpster in the park. (But honestly, why in the heck didn't the secretary bring the trash covered youngsters to the principal right then? "Oh, isn't that cute? These filthy six-year-olds want matches. No, no matches for you. Run along now you little darlings!")
Back in their dumpsters, they heard the kids on the playground out for afternoon recess. Poking their heads out for a view of the fun, they were spotted by a few soccer players. "Teacher! Teacher! There are some kids in the dumpter!" Sketchy... better check this one out...
The teacher runs out there, fishes the stinky kids out of the trash and drags their nasty behinds back to school grounds. The boys say, "We don't have to go to school. We're not in school right now." Then it was to the recess bench for a good talking to. "What were you thinking hanging out in the trash? You just sit here and think about what you did!" They sat there for 15 minutes and then she sent them into the school to get cleaned up and then told them to report to their teachers thinking they had been in school all day but had made a short recess trip to the dumpster. While the boys were "cleaning up" the recess teacher went to visit their teachers who informed her that they hadn't been to school at all that day. Hmmm... where did those little devils go?
Not in the bathroom cleaning up. That's for sure.
Not on the playground.
They were gone. Again. Thirty minutes later, 8 teachers are out looking along with Spencer and Samuel's parents, the moms are in tears, the teachers inside instructed to check every nook and cranny (six-year-olds are small). We get a phone call from Sam's mom. She found them on the street. She had picked up Sam but Spencer had refused to get in the car and was walking home. Busted.
And the game was over.
They're SIX! Man, when I was six I was too afraid to leave my front yard... but I was also afraid of blue jays, E.T. and Pine Sol. So there it is...
my little homophobe
11 months ago