Thursday, August 31, 2006

It Sucks and It Cuts

I got in a car accident today. I was at the tail end of a three-car pile-up. It was just the icing on the cake, really. Yesterday was my grandma's birthday. The first one of those since she passed away three months ago. We went to the cemetary with flowers. She doesn't even have a headstone yet. More than that, I don't have my WA teaching license yet. There was a bit of a hold-up and it turns out that I took the wrong test. I may not be certified until December. I hope I get to keep my job. My student loan payments are a bit more than I expected. I still haven't gotten paid for working last month because I gave them the wrong apartment number by mistake. I'm living off of my parents' mercy. I have no couch and no bed.

My life. It sucks and it cuts.

Turn it off, man! Turn it off! You're sucking my will to live!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

For Rent

Somebody typed in "carnival rides for rent, glendale, az" into Google and found... me. It made me laugh out loud. You know... LOL. Or is that "lots of love" in IM lingo? I don't care. Maybe I'll use it to describe your mom who is a "load of lard." LOL! YMIF!

But I digress. From what topic I don't know. But if there was a clear topic established then there would certainly be digression. Which is a word I just made up, I think. Because when I went to, digression was not a listed form of the word. Huh. But I digress.

My point is... Mr. Ride Renter will find no luck finding what he needs.

My life is certainly a carnival ride... but it's not for rent.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Increased Speed Ahead

This is a sign I saw much too often on my road trip from Provo, UT to Renton, WA. I saw most often in Oregon whose speed was already a national low at 65MPH. It took us forever to get through. Would it have killed them to place an "Increased Speed Ahead" sign on some parts of the highway to make up for lost time?


I'm in Washington! I'm sleeping at my parents' house tonight and then moving into my new apartment tomorrow morning. More exciting news tomorrow. Must sleep...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Prom Queen

Did you know I love you? Because I do. I love you. I love you.I love you.I love you.

I love you.

Thank you Kat, Nama, Lisa, Ann-Marie, Liz, Chris, Michael, Heather, Camille, Matt, Teju, Nicole, David, Brandi, Lincoln, Lewis, Natalie, Hailey, Shnook, Jay, Matt, Bryce, Chad, Corey, Erika, Duard, Jon, Ellyn, Joe, Jes, Ruth, Jen, Jena, Eddie and Andy!

I love you.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Back to the Pond

I had some fish. Four of them, actually. One small one and three even smaller ones. I got them out of a pond in the park a few months ago. I was really going after some tadpoles because I wanted to watch them grow into frogs. But they were too fast for me. So I just took the few fish that landed themselves in my net, put them in my little tank and took them home. I fed them well and watched them swim. But I never named them.

I'm moving soon and decided it was best to set them free. So last night around midnight Lisa and I drove to the park and Lisa emptied the fish back into the pond they came from.

Not an exciting story. But a story still the same.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Too Old To Hear The Ring

It turns out that teenagers can now download ringtones that only people under twenty can year. I went to the website where they sell these rings and it turns out that my hearing ends at the same point as most the people my age. The 17.7kHz tone was just a whisper. I am too old to hear these teen rings. Now, if only there was a way to make their voices go into the same range then going to places like the mall and a public pool would suddenly be bearable again for the rest of us.

Also, these tones seem to irritate teens. Businesses have actually installed speakers that send out a constant stream of high-end kHz to keep teens from loitering in front of their shops without disturbing their adult customers. Maybe there's a way to win back the mall and public pools after all! They should sell small speakers that play these tones that a person can wear in order to create a teenager-free ten yard moving radius around the wearer. I'm sitting on a gold mine!