I went to Home Depot. Because I own a condo now and I get to paint my bedroom any color I want! So for the second time, tonight I contemplated the possibilities. I finally decided on a subtle yellow. But which one? Sunflower? Ribbon Yellow? Mellow Yellow? Lemon Sorbet? Sunshine? Bicycle Yellow? They all pretty much looked the same. But I knew that as soon as I got home and started throwing it on my wall that suddenly my decision to go with Ribbon Yellow might be a tragic mistake. As I waited for my paint to mix, two men came to pick up their orders. One a large, gruff, white man with a beer belly and the other a slight, younger, Hispanic guy wearing a painter's uniform. The beer belly guy (BBG) noticed that a can of paint was missing from his order.
"Excuse me, but I'm missing my can of Pumpkin Butter."
The painter shaker guy (PSG) looked around and realized that he most likely gave it to the other painter uniform guy (PUG).
"I'm sorry! I think I gave it to the other customer there. Sir?! Did I give you a can of Pumpkin Butter?"
"Yes, you did. I ordered Pumpkin Butter as well."
BBG walked over to examine PUG's large order. "How many cans of it do you have?"
"Five. I ordered five cans of Pumpkin Butter."
PSG looked around some more for the lost can of paint while BBG and PUG started a manly conversation. "Oh, I see you also purchased Lemon Zest and Organic Orange. Are those your accent colors? I was thinking about getting Pineapple Soda but maybe Lemon Zest would be better. What do you think?"
"Oh, I think what you have there is going to look great!"
It was at this point that PSG realized the missing can of Pumpkin Butter was still in the shaker. He pulled it out, plopped it on the counter and slid it over to the waiting customer. BBG and PUG shook hands and walked away using their best manly walks... carrying their Pumpkin Butter, Pineapple Soda, Lemon Zest and Organic Orange paint.
The color names seemed kind of cute on paper but sounded ridiculously wonderful coming out the mouths of grown men.
my little homophobe
10 months ago