Rain

It's been raining. For days. And yet, I'm feeling kind of sunshiney. Maybe it's because I was born in Seattle and deep inside me is a great appreciation for rain because it makes me feel like a kid again or because I associate it with happy memories and the sound is relaxing to me.

Nah.

Or maybe it's because grades were posted yesterday and mine looked like this...

Winter Semester 2005
CPSE 430..... 002.. Tching Read/LA Dis................. 3.0... A-
CPSE 440..... 002.. C & I Sec Stds Dis................. 2.0... A-
CPSE 442..... 002.. Soc/Beh Strgs M/M.................. 3.0... A
CPSE 446R.... 002.. Prac Sec M/M....................... 1.0... A
IP&T 287. 004.. Inst Tech for EAC,ElEd, & SpEd. 2.0... A-
SEM HR ERN 11.0 HR GRD 11.0 GPA 3.81

...so I did the dance of joy and ran out to get ice cream with Lisa.

Or maybe it's because today Franklin Elementary sent a representative to Wasatch looking for me to offer me a job next year.

Or maybe it's because our little devil child that I've been working so hard with was a complete angel today and his mom sent me a thank you card saying how much she appreciates me since her son has been behaving better at home too.

Or maybe it's because I bought a new grown-up outfit tonight to wear when I'm a teacher.

Maybe. Just maybe.

Proud Parents of Baby Blogs

There are a lot of proud parents out there of baby blogs (some more neglectful than others). Let's celebrate. These are the birthdates of our blogs...

2002 - Year of the Horse
Kat – November 11, 2002

2003 - Year of the Sheep
Carolyn – January 9, 2003
Em – February 3, 2003
Heather – February 6, 2003
Liz – February 16, 2003
Ryan – March 3, 2003
Eddie – March 6, 2003
Steve – March 13, 2003
Jay – May 1, 2003
Jena – August 1, 2003
Patrick – October 6, 2003

2004 - Year of the Monkey
Ry-Ry – May 1, 2004
Jon – May 11, 2004
Chris – May 13, 2004
Rach – June 20, 2004
Corey – June 24, 2004
Tiff – June 25, 2004
Erika – June 29, 2004
Leah – October 10, 2004

2005 - Year of the Rooster
Nama – February 2, 2005
Spencer – February 3, 2005
Jen – February 17, 2005
Kimberly – February 21, 2005
Ann-Marie – April 4, 2005
Jimmy – April 15, 2005
Lisa – April 23, 2005

Ever

I have the best friends. Ever.

I was freaking out yesterday. My schedule was as follows... Friday: Wasatch 8:30 - 1:30, Kara's 4-9pm. Saturday: Kara's 9-4, apartment Check-out: 6pm. Jay helped me move my stuff inbetween Wasatch and Kara's. I called Kat to ask if maybe she could work for me for a few hours for one of the shifts so I could make my check-out time. She didn't call back.

When I got to apt 69 that night around 9:45, Kat and Lisa were just pulling into the parking lot, with the second to last load of all my stuff. My bedroom and bathroom was already empty. We finished moving by midnight, clean check and everything.

I have the best friends. Ever.

Finals are Finished!

I just emailed in my last final of the semester! Hurray!

I have a place to live and a friend to live with! Hurray!

I have an "unofficial interview" tomorrow for a teaching job in Provo which I've been told is practically already mine! Hurray!

I got to talk to Heather tonight and she gets me! Hurray!

Can things be looking up? It must be SUMMER!!

To Do Today
(italics = done)

• Call in sick
• Email professional evaluations with fax numbers
• Take Behavioral Final (Email Dr. Anderson)
• Study for Transition Final
• Take Transition Final
• Take 430 Final and Email it in
• Go to bank
• Look into apartment situation
• Call Liz
• Email IP&T TA
• Call hospital
• Clean room and car
• Shower
• Eat lunch with Ann-Marie, Nama and Ritz
• Go Classic Skating
• Eat Ice Cream

Circular
You pay your quarter, you get on the carousel and you go up, down and around... circular.

I think my spinning carousel is turning at a dangerous pace. Because I got super dizzy last night. On my rush to 69 from Costco (my third time in that parking lot in one day) I admitted a secret to Lisa, "I'm doing too much."
"Yep."

My mom used to say she was doing too much. Actually, she'd scream it at me. "I can't make dinner right now, can't you see I'm doing too much!" or "I don't have time to go to your softball games! I'm doing too much!" And all the while she was saying this, she wouldn't even have time to make eye contact with me... because Oprah was on.

So I used to think that "doing too much" didn't exist. People just said that when they weren't willing to do any more. If there's an empty half hour in your day, if you're able to sit, then you're not doing too much.

But that's not true.

Because different people have different limits of what they can do. My mom had a lower limit than most. Maybe she really was doing too much even though to me it looked like she wasn't doing anything at all. And just because I had this egotistic idea that I had no limit doesn't mean that that's true. Because I think I hit mine.

The almost 40 hours I spend working at Wasatch each week, the 10 - 15 hours I spend working at Kara's each weekend, the 10+ hours I spend in class each week, the 20 hours I put in for my practicum, the countless added hours I spent reading, studying, writing papers, taking tests, assessing students, creating lesson plans and teaching lesson plans have finally broken me.

I'm doing too much.

I don't have nearly enough time for things that matter. Like being a good friend and being thoughtful and considerate.

So, with the risk of me sounding like my mother I say, "I'm sorry I haven't been there. I'm doing too much." But just saying sorry doesn't cut it. So I say, "I will be cutting back on some things (work/school hours) to make more time for you. Because I love you."

But I'm not really turning into my mother, right??

ER

The recess bell rang. The children started running in. I turned to talk to two teachers that had just come out to collect their children. And then I saw Austin, running full speed, trip and fall headlong into a large boulder. It was nasty to see. I said, "Ouch!" and ran to his side, knowing full well that it was serious. A concussion. At least. Another teacher helped me take him to the office. Austin was coming in and out of consciousness and growing more and more limp as we walked. I looked at Teresa who just whispered, "He's going l-i-m-p! Keep him a-w-a-k-e!" I didn't take the time to remind her that she probably didn't have to bother spelling the scary words since he was barely with us. I rushed him into the office, explained to the secretary what was going on and went to look up his mother's number. I sat by Austin as we waited for his mother. She worked 20 minutes away and it was getting harder and harder to keep him awake. He was like a mini-David Johnson. His mother finally arrived and I went with them so I could keep him awake in the back while she drove us to the ER. Rex, the janitor lended me his cell so I could call when I was ready to be picked up. Can I tell you how scary it is to see a kid get hurt like that? And seeing the fear in his mother's eyes? I almost threw up, but had to pretend that I was fine as I had one hand on his mother's shoulder reassuring her that everything would be fine and the other hand on Austin's head holding the ice. I left them when Austin's dad got there. He seemed like he was going to be fine. Another employee came to get me and I went back to the office. "I'm back from my field trip..."

Hello, Good Friend, Goodbye

It's Spring Break. There's no elementary school today, tomorrow or friday. But guess who's still going to work? Unpaid work? Ten hours of unpaid work? ME! Yep, me! In order to not fail my practicum and get kicked out of my program I have to spend five hours today and five hours tomorrow in Salt Lake at West High during my Spring Break. I was so close to getting a break! So close! But this morning I switched back to my coconut lime lotion. So at least I can smell like I'm on vacation... mmmm... spring break...