Posting

Wow, I think I can post from email... I'm a freaking genius.

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Little Bunny Foo Foo

Today I went to pick up one of my students from class
and on the way to my room she asked, "Do you like
bunnies?"
"Yes, I do."
"Well, I have a dead one... here... look!"
And in her hand was a little, gray and very dead
bunny. She smooshed it and petted it's little dead
head and hid it back in her sleeve. I heard an echo
of "pretty bird... pretty bird" in the back of my head
and I tried not to heave.
"How about you go sit in my office and I'll be right
back?"
"Okay."
I went over to our psych person and brought her in to
talk about the dead bunny, where she got it and how to
deal with it. They decided that the psych person
would throw it away and that the girl would have to
forego show and tell that day.

Ew.

I made the girl wash her hands. I washed my hands
(even though I never touched it) then disinfected the
table where it sat and my desk where she set it and
then washed my hands again. And again.

Mike

I like Mike. But he's kind of fat. Does anybody know how to help Mike lose a few pounds to make room for my profile?

Mickey D's

I got up really, really early this morning in order to attend a faculty meeting at 7:15 am. But when I got there, nobody else was. There was no meeting. And I didn't have to be back to work until 8am.

So I went to McDonalds to get breakfast.

I didn't want to because I only had my debit card and I refuse to go to McDonald's unless I have cash because McDonald's charges this ridiculous "50 cent transaction fee" that I just can't be okay with. Because nobody else does it. So why would McDonald's? I'm sure they're just pocketing the extra 50 cents for each card swipe and I'll have none of that!

But I was hungry. And it was really early. And I deserved a greasy, sausage and egg McMuffin with cheese.

So I went and winced as I handed over my debit card. But guess what?

No fee.

Free at last! Free at last!

The Cute One

I overheard two people talking about me in the faculty room...
"Who's Emily?" (looking at a list)
"Oh, Emily's the young, cute one with longer brown hair..."

I was called cute by a stranger. Wow.

Wow.

It's Come To This


The boyfriend pillow. Why? The pillow was invented and is now being sold in Japan. I'm worried. Really worried. What will the company logo be? A teardrop? And what will their pitch be? "Are you alone? Do you go to sleep every night by yourself? Will you probably always be alone? Sick of crying into your regular boring-shaped pillow? Well you can now dry your eyes and pretend your life's not worthless with "I Can't Believe It's Not A Man!" in local stores today!"


And now, the lap pillow! "I Can't Believe It's Not A Woman!"














Help me.

Come What May

Kat's right. It's the beginning of a new year. I have a new job. New classes. New insurance. A new ward. A new condo. And a new opportunity to begin again.

It's time to pick a direction, make some goals and go for it. I've never been one to make New Year's Resolutions but here goes nothin'...

1. I'll drink less of this and more of this or at least substitute it more frequently with this
2. Well... let's just work on that one for now... It's going to take a lot more out of me than you know...
3. Seriously.
4. And maybe I'll try to be nicer.

It could happen...