Friday, December 23, 2005

I'll Be Home For Christmas

Wednesday night, as it was coming time for everybody to go to bed my mom looked at me and said, "Where are earth are you going to sleep?!"
"Gee, mom. I dunno. I thought that maybe you would have planned on that since I've had the tickets since September."
"Well, I suppose I can clear off the top bunk... but I was using it for storage."
"Sorry for the inconvenience."
"I guess it's alright."
I heard a few clumps as she hurled some stuff off the top bunk into a heap on the floor and then a shout, "Ready!"

Great... I crawled between the pet hair infested old blankets (there were about twelve and muddled up, two sleeping bags, one rolled and one flat, two body pillows and four other pillows) and fell asleep.

The next morning the phone rang. My mom shouted her hellos, even Wayne turned over in the bed below. "What? Who is this? Shelby? She's sleeping! I was told not to wake her up! Okay! Bye!" I heard the whole thing. Obviously. And although I was very excited to see my Shelby I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. But in two seconds my mom's face was peering over the bunk, "Emily! Emily! Shelby called and she wants to play with you! But don't worry. I told her that she couldn't talk to you yet because you wanted to sleep. So instead of waking you up, I told her you'd call her back. See how well I listen? But I wanted to tell you before I forgot."
"Ya... thanks mom. I would have hated it if you had woken me up..."
"No problem!"

Last night, I crawled into the same bed and found a battery (that I had most certainly slept on top of the night before) and a black stocking with white dog paws printed on it filled with doggie treats and toys that I had mistakenly used as a lumpy pillow the night before. As I was getting ready this morning my mom burst through the bathroom door (knocking is a lost luxury) and announced that we weren't doing stockings this year. "Really? I found one in my bed last night."
"Hey! That's for the dogs! What did you do with it?"
"Don't worry... I just put it at the foot of the bed and went to sleep. If I can sleep with all of their hair then I can sleep with their Christmas stocking."
"Okay. Just as long as you didn't throw it off. I had it all in there perfect..."

Why can't humans hibernate?


Jay said...

Your bed sounds like my apartment during the regular semester. Except substitute the dog hair with girl hair, and the stocking full of doggie treats for regulars socks. . .everywhere. At least my last roommate left and I can FINALLY clean my apartment in peace.

Happy Holidays to all. And to all, a clean bed to sleep in.

Ann-Marie said...

Jay...why do you have GIRL hair in your bed???

Nama said...

aw, i laugh and pity you all at the same time. merry krimble.

Nessa said...

Don't hibernate, just migrate south for the winter and all holidays. I'll be your family.

Jay said...

Wouldn't you like to know.

kat said...

why don't you want your "sister" to have a christmas stocking? are you jealous? do you hate her? do you want her out of the picture?