And I'm free again. The parents just left and are on their way back to Seattle. It was a decent visit. No major fights (at least none when I was in earshot...) Well, no major fights that I was involved in. K? We ate good food. I didn't have to pay for anything (except for when I sneaky bought my dad that DVD) and things ran relatively smoothly. A few highlights from the visit...

ONE: (I wasn't here for this one... and I don't regret it...) On the way down here (Mom, Dad, Judy, Wayne). Somewhere in Idaho passing a large pasture full of cows...
Mom: Oh look! Wow!
Silence...
Mom: Look! You're gonna miss it!!
Silence...
Mom: Did you see that?? That cow had TWINS!!
Judy: What are you talking about?
Mom: That cow had TWO babies next to it! They're TWINS! That doesn't happen very often! Wow!!!
Judy: Mom, how do you know that both of those calves belonged to that one cow? There were like 300 of them all in the same area...
Mom: They were both standing right next to her and they looked the same. TWINS!
Judy: They're COWS! They all look the same!
Mom: They were TWINS! And it was really cool! Bill! Tell Judy that they were twins!
Silence...
Mom: Bill!!!!!!
Dad: They could have been twins, Judy. (winks to the back seat)
Judy: Look, whatever.
Mom: TWINS!!!!!!!

TWO: Shopping at Walmart... Getting ready to leave...
Mom: (Throws shampoo bottle in cart) I guess I'll buy your Dad shampoo! Man!
Judy: Dad needs shampoo again, huh? That must really be upsetting. Next thing you know he'll want to eat something...
Mom: (Doesn't get it... stares...)
Judy: You can't be mad about Dad needing shampoo. That's dumb. Remember how it's Dad paying for everything even though you're the one actually handing over the money?
Mom: Why couldn't he just use the hotel shampoo?
Judy: Because he doesn't want to and doesn't have to. It's one of the perks up being a grown-up.
Mom: Oh. Well, where is he now??
Judy: I don't know.
Mom: Man! He always takes off!
Judy: Where's Wayne?
Mom: I don't know.
Judy: Man! He always takes off!
Mom: Did you just copy what I said?
Judy: Maybe.
Mom: Don't do that.
Judy: Why?
Mom: I'm gonna tell Dad.
Judy: But you don't know where he is.
Mom: (growls and walks away...) BILL?!?!?!?!

Later during that same trip...
Dad: Look! I needed a calculator and I found TWO for FIVE dollars! I love this place!
Mom: Why do you need two calculators?
Dad: I don't know. But I can get two for five dollars and I'm gonna do it.
Mom: Grrrrr... (mumbles) He buys such stupid things with his money... (shouts) Ooh! Look, beaded keychains!!
Judy: What the #%@!???
Mom: Emily! Go run over there and find one that says, "Mom's Taxi" and another one that says "I love cats". Go!
Me: Okay...
Judy: What the #%@!???
Mom: One's for me and one's a gift for Shelly, the lady taking care of grandma...
Judy: Huh...
Mom: Hey... where's the ring I'm buying??? Oh, the dumb calculators were on top of it...

THREE: At the Old Spaghetti Factory (Dad doesn't eat out much...)
Mom: I remember this place. We went for Judy's birthday.
Judy: You remember that?
Mom: Yep. How old were you?
Judy: Sixteen.
Dad: You ate here when you were sixteen? But this place is brand new... and you've never been to Utah... you hate it here...
Judy: Dad... the one in Seattle...
Dad: Oh.
Me: So, Dad... what are you going to get?
Dad: (opens the menu) OH WOW!!!!!!! Wow!!!!! I just don't... WOW!!!!
Wayne: (tap tap tap... "why is dad so excited?")
Me: ("I think it's because he gets to eat... and the food is going to be good")
Wayne: Hehehe ("cool")
Dad: Oh wow!!!! They have lasagna?? WOW! And spaghetti???
Waitress: Sorry about the wait. Anything to drink?
Dad: So, what's good??
Waitress: Well... I like the lasagna best but everything is good. Are you ready to order?
Dad: Wow!!!! Look at that!!!!
Judy: We may need a minute...
Waitress: Okay.
Time passes...
Waitress: Are you ready to order?
Dad: I'd like spaghetti and meatballs.
Waitress: What kind of salad dressing would you like?
Dad: Um, I didn't order a salad. Spaghetti and meatballs, please.
Waitress: A house salad come with your meal. So does ice cream at the end. And we also provide loaves of sour dough bread...
Dad: WOW!!!! That all comes with the meal???
Waitress: Yes, what kind of salad dre...
Dad: All of it?? It's all part of this Spaghetti and meatball thing I ordered???
Waitress: Yes... what kind of sa...
Dad: WOW!!!!! uh... do you have Thousand Island?
Waitress: Yes..
Dad: WOW!!!! That'd be great!!!! Thanks!!! Thank you!!!!!!

Okay... that's all for now... Maybe more stories will be shared as time goes on and when I'm in therapy...