Day Two

I slept in a bit! Probably because I stayed up way later than I should have. But for some reason I couldn't tear myself away from the History Channel. I watched "We Built This City: New York" followed by "We Built This City: London" followed by "We Built This City: Paris." It's official. I wasn't adopted. I am definitely my father's daughter. If there were encyclopedias around, I would read them. I'm a huge dork. Dorkiness is a big chunk of the Hansen genes. And it's a big chunk of me. There's no getting around it.

However, even though I spent my evening in Dork Land, I still had nightmares last night. I don't really remember a lot of details but I do remember being stranded and then stalked in a deserty place with people that I assume were supposed to be my family. There were these evil men holding us there and it was my fault that they now knew that we were unarmed, in the middle of nowhere... and stupid.

This morning, as I was just lying in bed I was thinking about my dream (what I could remember of it) and how evil those guys must have been to leave a whole family in the middle of nowhere. Then I remembered back to a time when I used to think I was evil. And I laughed. When I was younger I had been so convinced that I was evil that I would spend hours in front of the mirror waiting for my eyes to turn cat-like or red because that's what my childish idea of evilness was. I waited and waited with my heart pounding in my chest. I so much didn't want it to happen but at the same time I was so sure that it would happen and I knew my scary eyes would scare myself once it did. Every day I'd go back to the mirror and watch and wait. But it never happened. My eyes never showed evil. Obviously. I was more than a bit relieved but not yet entirely convinced that I wasn't evil. It would take years before I was truly convinced. Fortunately for me I found an online test for such a situation. (Sorry about the questions that don't apply.) What was the comforting result of my test? I'm only a "Little Evil." Good to know. Baby steps...