Seriously.

I don't want to talk about it.

Stuff It Up Your Stocking

I spent an entire day Wednesday searching for an electric frying pan or electric jar opener from Black and Decker. All the stores I went to were out of them and the employees looked at me like I was crazy when I asked them if they had any. Because it was 3 days before Christmas. But I wasn't even the idiot who left the shopping until then. I was done with my shopping. It was my dad. But he doesn't like shopping. Or planning in advance. Or paying in advance for that matter. So even though he had to go to Southcenter mall anyways to pay a bill, he still sent me to three malls looking for things he could give my mother. I ended up buying an overpriced personal DVD player that she wanted, wrapping it up and cursing my way through the day. But did he say thank you? No. "Oh, and while you're out... could you get all the stocking stuffers?"

And later that night I had to go to my sister's house for dinner and to spend the night. The dinner was just for me because it was my birthday dinner. But my mom and dad threw a fit because they wanted to be invited. But my sister said no. But Wayne, instead of just dropping me off, jumped out of the car ahead of me, ran up the steps into my sister's house and made himself comfortable. Then when my sister and her husband had to leave to take their dog to the doggie ER, my brother cried to me about how selfish I was for not spending more time with him even though I had just spent the entire day with him shopping for that stupid DVD player. These were his reasons...
1. I didn't go shopping with him on Monday
2. He was better than me because he visited me on Friday
3. I always brought other people along
4. My "one minute" always means "one hour"
So I yelled at him. In sign. And I told him the following...
1. I had the flu on Monday. He knew that. But did anybody call me at all that day to ask if I was okay? No.
2. He came over on Friday with his laptop and said two words to me. Hi and Good-bye. He came over for the wireless internet, not for me.
3. I care about a lot of people and I'm only here for 2 weeks.
4. My "one minute" means "one hour" when I spend that "one minute" with him too.
And then I told him to shove it and grow up. And then we played darts.

I hate Christmas because we never do anything but argue. Nobody plans anything and then when we're in the middle of an unplanned day somebody gets mad at somebody else for not planning anything who then blames somebody else for being lazy and then the tree starts on fire. I do have a few traditions. This is what they are...
1. I buy all the stocking stuffers (which I didn't do this year)
2. I go grocery shopping for all the "holiday food" (which I didn't do this year)
3. I ignore them yelling at me for getting the wrong things and spend both days in the kitchen cooking meals and treats with my headphones on
4. We eat the same breakfast of English muffins, sausage, eggs and orange juice on Christmas plates and glasses.
5. We open presents... well, we watch Wayne open presents.
6. We go take naps (I read a book)

I have to be at my mother's house by noon. I don't know when I can leave on Christmas. Probably not until evening. It's after eleven so I'd better go pack the essentials... my headphones and my big bottle of Excedrin. Bring in the new year.

What It's Like To Be 24

My Birthday was on Sunday. But since it officially started on Thursday with our dinner at Olive Garden, I begin here. So far, being 24 has included...

• One delightful meal with wonderful friends including some game that involved me getting hit in the head with my presents and giving out compliments or wishes or something
• One equally delightful Italian woman who reminded me how utterly lucky I was to have so many friends who loved me
• One red-eye flight to Seattle and a very generous roommate for making the drive to the airport with me
• Seeing my Julie and five beautiful babies
• Having my family birthday dinner cancelled because my mom didn't feel like it, but getting to go see a movie with Julie which is really what I wanted to do anyway
• Spending over $25 on medication for my two-week long cold
• Getting over that cold on Sunday morning
• Going to church and seeing so many friendly faces from my childhood
• Eating dinner at my parents' house
• My grandma asking over and over if it was my birthday
• My grandma, in a moment of clarity, asked how old I was... I told her I was 24. She gasped, smiled at me and said, "I got married when I was 24! This could be your year!" (Even my senile grandmother has it out for me.)
• Watching Super Size Me
• Getting the Flu (Double Badness... I won't go into details)
• Having poor Julie take care of me as I lay useless on her couch for over 24 hours
• Having my Sarah come over with a birthday present and a reminder that I was missing out on making gingerbread cookies (I'd better still get to eat one later this week!)

Which brings me to today. Tuesday. I like Tuesday. And I feel good. I think I'll go shopping...

A Letter I Composed Last Night

To Whom It May Concern at Wasatch Elementary,

I am writing to inform you of my recent decision to come in late to work on Wednesday, December 15. My reasons for this decision are as follows...

• In the last 48 hours, 29 of them were work hours, 10 were hours asleep and the other 9 were spent praying for death.
• I have gained almost 15 pounds since last Christmas.
• My lungs burn, I'm still fighting off the last of my Pink Eye episode and I'm coughing up things that should never be allowed in the human body.
• I have a huge final tomorrow that I haven't been able to study for it yet and I will cry through Christmas if I lose my only solid A.
• My foot hurts.
• The heater on my car doesn't work.
• Let's face it, I would have been late anyways.
• I just took NyQuil so there's no way I'm getting up in time to make it even if I change my mind or if you say no.
• My roommate is crazy which means I haven't had a good night's sleep in four months.
• My mom is crazy which means I haven't had a good night's sleep in almost 24 years.
• You're crazy if you think I'll be showing up at 8:30.
• My head hurts, the room is spinning, I have no friends, no life, no motivation and my room is a mess.
• You can't make me.

In conclusion, I'll let you know when I'm coming and I'll let you know when I'm leaving. You will smile and nod and pretend to care. And we'll all walk away happy. Or at least alive.
Sincerely,
Emily Hansen

Hell Week 1 and 1/2

Yesterday I worked at Wasatch from 8:30am until 3:45pm. Then I drove at the speed of light in order to work at Kara's from 4pm until 11pm. Then I went to my friend's house to pick up her prescription for Loratab since she won't be paid until Friday and she has ovarian cysts that make life very painful. Then I came home and couldn't sleep.

Today I work at Wasatch from 8:30am until 4:30pm. Then I will then quickly drive to the mall to work at Kara's from 5pm until 11pm. Then I will have to hurry home and study because I have two finals tomorrow.

Tomorrow I work at Wasatch from 8:30am until 3:45pm. I will then have to run to campus and pray the line in the Testing Center isn't too long so I can at least have a few minutes to take my 515 test and then be at my scheduled three-hour 420 final by five.

But then it's over. Because I get to play on Thursday night. And early Friday morning I will be on a plane bound for Seattle.

I can almost see the end of this semester's dark, grimy, cold and depressing tunnel.

Excedrin and Mountain Dew

I got roughly five hours of sleep last night. Which wouldn't be a big deal if I had gotten regular amounts of nightly sleep for the past four months. But I haven't. And so today I look like I'm addicted to crack. I have bloodshot and stingy eyes. I can't walk in a straight line and my speech is even more slurred than usual. My head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice and I could hear the pounding in my ears. There was only one solution. I dug up a couple of Excedrin and then walked down to the teacher's lounge to buy a Mountain Dew to wash the pills down with. It reminded me of a scene from several years ago that brought a bit of joy to my heart and got me through the remainder of the day.

Dec 6 - 10 Hell Week Update (finished items in italics):
CPSE 410 Case Study Portfolio
CPSE 410 Presentation
CPSE 410 Final Exam
CPSE 420 Case Study Portfolio
CPSE 420 Presentation
CPSE 420 Final Exam
CPSE 400 Final Paper
CPSE 400 Final Exam
IP&T 515 Final Exam