Dear Wayne

I can remember when you were small. It wasn't all that long ago. When your whole ability to communicate was restricted to a few indiscernable sounds and some hand gestures.

There came a time when you realized the vastness of your language barrier. You'd gesture emphatically, point, make noises. When that didn't work, you'd scream and cry and then throw your body onto the ground in complete frustration and anger.

You couldn't tell us what you wanted, what you did that day or how you were feeling. You wanted to tell us and we wanted to know. There was no lack of trying and I can remember wanting to join you in your fits of frustration.

But now you're a young man. You're fluent in ASL and you're pretty dang good at English too. There's still a barrier (we live in two seperate worlds) but it's small.

Lately, though, I've been finding myself wanting to throw fits of frustration again. Because I don't know if any amount of mutual language will ever be enough. Is there any way to make you understand how very much I love you? How much our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ loves you? How much happiness the Gospel brings to my life? How much it can bring to yours?

I feel that I've failed you. I have yet to find a word or hand gesture to express the contents of my heart to you. Which I don't understand. Because you are such a big piece of it. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anybody. But I can't make you feel.

So I'll just do my best with my primitive sounds and gestures. I'll cry and maybe throw myself down in a fit of frustration. But I won't give up.

Love,
Your Little Big Sister