My Dad Made a Funny

My dad wanted to get out of the house and since I had a lot of appointments to make in one day, he decided to be my taxi for the day. On our way to my first appointment, the eye doctor to pick out some glasses, I noticed that he chose to take I-5 N instead of I-5 S. We were going the wrong way.
"Uh, Dad? Where are we going?"
"To the eye doctor."
"But... isn't it the other way?"
"Are you just noticing now that we're headed north?"
"Maybe..."
"We switched eye doctors."
"When?"
"September."
"Why?"
"Because Mom found these guys and they're much better."
"How'd she do that?"
"Well, she needed such and such from one kind of specialist and so she had to go through this one insurance company which is a sister to this insurance company which covered this one doctor and if you go to that doctor then you can go through some hoops and get this eye doctor which is much better then the rest we're able to get."
"Uh... I'm not trying to be mean. But for somebody who has the understanding of a 3rd grader, Mom sure knows how to find doctors in complex ways..."
"Ya, I know. It's weird how much mom likes doctors. Her file's really thick! She always has an appointment with some doctor or another. It's what she looks forward to. It's weird. I hate doctors."
"Me, too."
"You do???"
"Uh, ya."
"Since when?"
"Since forever."
"Do you know why?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because of Mom."
"Huh... Why's that?"
"Because when I was small Mom neglected to tell me they were removing my tonsils until they were removed, didn't tell me they were taking out my teeth until they were gone and never told me what to expect until we were at the doctor's office or walking out..."
"You got your tonsils taken out?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"When they put tubes in my ears."
"Oh."
"Ya, I didn't know either until I woke up and couldn't talk."
"Your mom was always weird about telling you things. She didn't want you to be scared in anticipation."
"Well, a little forewarning would have been nice."

We approach the eye doctor. We each get out and walk to the door. Just as I'm reaching for the handle dad says....
"Emily, I didn't want to tell you until we were here but... we're not here to get you glasses... they're taking out your eyes."
"NO!!!!!!!!!!"

He was so proud of himself for making a funny that he smiled for the rest of the day and treated himself out to lunch.