Thursday, June 17, 2004

Needles, Knives and Dr. Mario

I hate doctors. I really do. Except for Dr. Mario who I've found a new fondness for. But perhaps that's because I know that he's not going to jump out of the machine with needles and knives and just start hacking away. With Dr. Mario I know that I'll leave in one piece and without any bad news. But tomorrow I'm going to see Dr. Brown. And he and Dr. Mario are on two very different playing fields. Dr. Brown is a very nice man but I'll be paying him to cut my foot open and fix yet another ingrown toenail. That means we can't be friends. Sad, but true. I'm terrified. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach and induces all sorts of irrational fears. What if the numbing stuff never wears off and I never feel my foot again? What if he slices wrong and he cuts off a toe? What if I accidentally look down and see blood? Or a needle? Or a knife? Or Dr. Brown with the blood, needle and knife? Or what if my mom is involved somehow and instead of fixing my toe he just removes my whole leg? Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It's going to be hard to keep my cool. It's going to be hard for me to not cry or have a panic attack or sing my comfort songs only in my head. Maybe I'll find my happy place and win Dr. Mario over and over again in my head... Dr. Mario, HELP!!

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