The Toilet Monster
My sister was always really big on the mind games. She would hit me and hit me and hit me and I wouldn't crack. I refused to cry. But for some reason, I always fell for her mind games. She was good at it and I was gullible. For some reason I wanted to trust her so badly that I would believe anything she told me even if I knew it was ridiculous. A classic example is the Toilet Monster.
You see, the Toilet Monster lives in your toilet. It sleeps in the curvy part of your toilet and he's mad because all it gets is well... not usually appetizing. What it really wants is... you! Lucky for you, though, it sleeps a lot. In fact, the Toilet Monster is only awaken when the toilet is flushed.
"And so, Emily... if you want to survive you had better run as soon as the toilet is flushed!" My sister explained the rules of survival to me. See? She really did care about her baby sister! She even demonstrated what to do for me. "Now, you wait in the hall so you'll be safe this time and see how I do it. I try to stretch and already have one foot out the door when I push the lever... one... two... THREE!" She took off down the hall and I followed after. I just knew that I'd be this monster's next victim.
Come on... a Toilet Monster? I knew it was silly. But... was it? My sister apparantly believed in it. She was at least eleven at this time. Or did she? Was she just pretending to believe so that I would be scared? Probably. But was it worth the risk? No.
And so I ran. I ran so fast every time I had to flush that toilet. I was so sure every time that this would be the time that that ugly thing would get me.
My best friend came over to visit. I went in to use the bathroom and she waited for me outside in the hall. I opened the door and saw her there... in danger's way. "Uh, Sarah? When I say 'go' you run down the hall as fast as you can, okay?"
"Why?" she asked. It was a valid question but I was too embarassed to tell her the truth about how I believed in the Toilet Monster.
"Just do it, okay??"
"Okay."
"One... two... THREE!" I flushed the toilet. "Go! Go! Go!"
We tore down the hall and into the living room. Sarah laughed when we got there and rolled on the floor. "That was fun! Why did we run?"
"Uh, no reason. Just thought it'd be fun, that's all."
She couldn't know that I was stupid enough to believe in the Toilet Monster and, more importantly, to believe anything my sister said. And she never did. Well, until now. Hi, Sarah.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Dream Weaver
Last night a miracle happened. I slept all night (over 7 hrs) last night without any nightmares! This morning I woke up feeling good and I've been in a good mood all day. I just barely got off the phone with my parents. Even that didn't alter my mood. My mom even had a fun tidbit of information for me... she had a dream... "I had a dream about you the other night." Eebie-jeebies.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes."
"That's... cool..."
"Yes, I had a dream that you found a boyfriend."
"Oh, dear."
"And that you called to tell me all about him and I was so happy."
The conversation about my mother's dreams ended there as she swept on to other more thrilling topics like where exactly my dog pooped in the yard and the shinanegans that followed. But it could have continued like this...
"I had a dream about you, too."
"Oh, really? I don't care."
"I've had several actually..."
"Hmmm..."
"In one, you tried to stab me. In another I spent the whole night running away from you because you were trying to kill me again. Actually, in all of them you're trying to hurt me."
"Did I tell you about where the dog pooped in the yard?"
Last night a miracle happened. I slept all night (over 7 hrs) last night without any nightmares! This morning I woke up feeling good and I've been in a good mood all day. I just barely got off the phone with my parents. Even that didn't alter my mood. My mom even had a fun tidbit of information for me... she had a dream... "I had a dream about you the other night." Eebie-jeebies.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes."
"That's... cool..."
"Yes, I had a dream that you found a boyfriend."
"Oh, dear."
"And that you called to tell me all about him and I was so happy."
The conversation about my mother's dreams ended there as she swept on to other more thrilling topics like where exactly my dog pooped in the yard and the shinanegans that followed. But it could have continued like this...
"I had a dream about you, too."
"Oh, really? I don't care."
"I've had several actually..."
"Hmmm..."
"In one, you tried to stab me. In another I spent the whole night running away from you because you were trying to kill me again. Actually, in all of them you're trying to hurt me."
"Did I tell you about where the dog pooped in the yard?"
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Boo!
I left apartment 63 after midnight and sleepily headed back to my apartment but then I saw her. Lisa was bent down buying a soda at the soda machine just outside her apartment. "What a weirdo," I thought, "Only Lisa would be out buying a soda after midnight on a school night." So I did what any respectable girl would do. I snuck up on her with the intent to make her scream. I walked quietly at first but then realizing that it wouldn't be long before she got her soda and turned around, I ran for her, grabbed her ribs on both sides and said, "Rarr!" She gave a little shriek and flung around, fully erect, then she took a step back. I gave a little shriek too because... that wasn't Lisa. It wasn't even anybody in my ward. I had no idea who this person was at all. "Uh... hi," I said lamely.
"Hi." She still eyed me suspiciously. I tried to play it cool...
"You... uh... live here?"
"No. I live across the street."
"Oh, cool. Sorry... I... uh... thought you lived here and sometimes I do that... I... uh... so, you go to BYU?"
"Ya."
"What are you studying?"
"Political Science."
"That's nice."
"Ya, I've been going to school here for over 2 years now... I'm from Japan."
"That's really cool!... I gotta go. It was nice meeting you... what's your name?"
"Chichachu."
"Chichacha?"
"Chichachu. Ooh."
"Ooh. Chichachu. Got it. I'm Emily. Nice to meet you."
And then, like any respectable girl, I ran away.
I left apartment 63 after midnight and sleepily headed back to my apartment but then I saw her. Lisa was bent down buying a soda at the soda machine just outside her apartment. "What a weirdo," I thought, "Only Lisa would be out buying a soda after midnight on a school night." So I did what any respectable girl would do. I snuck up on her with the intent to make her scream. I walked quietly at first but then realizing that it wouldn't be long before she got her soda and turned around, I ran for her, grabbed her ribs on both sides and said, "Rarr!" She gave a little shriek and flung around, fully erect, then she took a step back. I gave a little shriek too because... that wasn't Lisa. It wasn't even anybody in my ward. I had no idea who this person was at all. "Uh... hi," I said lamely.
"Hi." She still eyed me suspiciously. I tried to play it cool...
"You... uh... live here?"
"No. I live across the street."
"Oh, cool. Sorry... I... uh... thought you lived here and sometimes I do that... I... uh... so, you go to BYU?"
"Ya."
"What are you studying?"
"Political Science."
"That's nice."
"Ya, I've been going to school here for over 2 years now... I'm from Japan."
"That's really cool!... I gotta go. It was nice meeting you... what's your name?"
"Chichachu."
"Chichacha?"
"Chichachu. Ooh."
"Ooh. Chichachu. Got it. I'm Emily. Nice to meet you."
And then, like any respectable girl, I ran away.
Snow Angel
This morning I thought it' d be a good idea to actually start my car a few minutes before I had to leave so that it could defrost and warm up. "It'll be quick," I thought to myself, "So I won't be needing a jacket." I walked down my stairs, through the grassy area and onto the "pavement." Most Villa residents know that there's a thick layer of ice on that pavement but a night of snow had covered it with a thin layer concealing the enemy. I was walking at a quick pace and didn't even see the attack coming. My feet flew out from under me and into the air in cartoon fashion and I landed flat on my back. I laid there for a second, legs and arms sprawled out as I tried to regain my breath (It had been a long time since I had had the wind knocked out of me) as I thought about how much I missed my medical insurance. I finally got up, unlocked my car and started its engine. But as I turned to go back upstairs I saw my print in the snow. It looked like an outline for a dead body but instead of a white line it was white all around it except for where my body bit it. There were no shoe or hand prints nearby as I had simply sat up and walked away and the image was comical. I laughed. Hard. Talk about your messed up snow angel...
This morning I thought it' d be a good idea to actually start my car a few minutes before I had to leave so that it could defrost and warm up. "It'll be quick," I thought to myself, "So I won't be needing a jacket." I walked down my stairs, through the grassy area and onto the "pavement." Most Villa residents know that there's a thick layer of ice on that pavement but a night of snow had covered it with a thin layer concealing the enemy. I was walking at a quick pace and didn't even see the attack coming. My feet flew out from under me and into the air in cartoon fashion and I landed flat on my back. I laid there for a second, legs and arms sprawled out as I tried to regain my breath (It had been a long time since I had had the wind knocked out of me) as I thought about how much I missed my medical insurance. I finally got up, unlocked my car and started its engine. But as I turned to go back upstairs I saw my print in the snow. It looked like an outline for a dead body but instead of a white line it was white all around it except for where my body bit it. There were no shoe or hand prints nearby as I had simply sat up and walked away and the image was comical. I laughed. Hard. Talk about your messed up snow angel...
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Tossin' and Turnin'
I don't really want to go to sleep or stay asleep but complete exhaustion has forced me to stay asleep after I have unwillingly slipped into slumber. You see, I'm a sick and twisted human being who would rather stay awake and be completely tired and campy than face my own subconscious. Lately, it's been a reoccurring nightmare unlike any I've ever had. It's a sick combination of the Lord of the Rings, my own family life and the huge box of candy I have stashed in my bedroom. I'm always running, running, running and the "special effects," scary characters and intense non-plot leave me aching for my childhood days when my only reoccurring nightmare involved a pink and purple monster, my family and their combined efforts to feed me to the beast. I'd take that pink and purple guy over this new villian any day. As long as he's just not added into this new one... because I don't think I can handle them joining forces... or the monster's influence on the color scheme.
I don't really want to go to sleep or stay asleep but complete exhaustion has forced me to stay asleep after I have unwillingly slipped into slumber. You see, I'm a sick and twisted human being who would rather stay awake and be completely tired and campy than face my own subconscious. Lately, it's been a reoccurring nightmare unlike any I've ever had. It's a sick combination of the Lord of the Rings, my own family life and the huge box of candy I have stashed in my bedroom. I'm always running, running, running and the "special effects," scary characters and intense non-plot leave me aching for my childhood days when my only reoccurring nightmare involved a pink and purple monster, my family and their combined efforts to feed me to the beast. I'd take that pink and purple guy over this new villian any day. As long as he's just not added into this new one... because I don't think I can handle them joining forces... or the monster's influence on the color scheme.
Friday, January 02, 2004
Smile-n-Nod
The best defense I have is the old Smile-n-Nod trick. (Not to be confused with the Wink-n-Cock.) The Smile-n-Nod comes in handy in numerous situations. It's the ultimate cure all for all those "I wasn't listening" and "I have no idea what you're talking about" kind of moments. Most people are just looking for validation and the Smile-n-Nod tends to do the trick.
Personally, I zone a lot. I'm not all that smart and although I may have a look of focus and concern on my face, my mind is usually far away, thinking about why I chose the outfit I'm wearing, whether or not I remembered to put on make-up or that one guy's name on that one show I was watching three weeks ago. But usually I hear only tropical music and visualize palm trees and the Disneyland Theme Park.
I have to admit that there are days that the Smile-n-Nod is my only lifeline to the real world.
But buyer beware... there are side effects if the Smile-n-Nod is used is an unopportune time. There are occasions when you're actually supposed to be answering questions and the Smile-n-Nod will commit you to doing something you were actually unaware of since you were on Splash Mountain instead of listening to why so and so needs you to give them your car, your wallet and about 50 hours of your time.
Here are some cues that it's time to utilize the Smile-n-Nod...
"Don't you think so?", "Wouldn't you agree", "And that's my story about...", "It's been nice meeting you."
Here are some cues not to use the Smile-n-Nod...
"So I'll pick you up at seven then?", "So you'll take me there?", "And you'll be paying?", "You'll help me with that?"
The good ol' Smile-n-Nod. A faithful friend...
The best defense I have is the old Smile-n-Nod trick. (Not to be confused with the Wink-n-Cock.) The Smile-n-Nod comes in handy in numerous situations. It's the ultimate cure all for all those "I wasn't listening" and "I have no idea what you're talking about" kind of moments. Most people are just looking for validation and the Smile-n-Nod tends to do the trick.
Personally, I zone a lot. I'm not all that smart and although I may have a look of focus and concern on my face, my mind is usually far away, thinking about why I chose the outfit I'm wearing, whether or not I remembered to put on make-up or that one guy's name on that one show I was watching three weeks ago. But usually I hear only tropical music and visualize palm trees and the Disneyland Theme Park.
I have to admit that there are days that the Smile-n-Nod is my only lifeline to the real world.
But buyer beware... there are side effects if the Smile-n-Nod is used is an unopportune time. There are occasions when you're actually supposed to be answering questions and the Smile-n-Nod will commit you to doing something you were actually unaware of since you were on Splash Mountain instead of listening to why so and so needs you to give them your car, your wallet and about 50 hours of your time.
Here are some cues that it's time to utilize the Smile-n-Nod...
"Don't you think so?", "Wouldn't you agree", "And that's my story about...", "It's been nice meeting you."
Here are some cues not to use the Smile-n-Nod...
"So I'll pick you up at seven then?", "So you'll take me there?", "And you'll be paying?", "You'll help me with that?"
The good ol' Smile-n-Nod. A faithful friend...
Thursday, January 01, 2004
A Christmas Miracle
On Christmas day I was ready to snap. The day after Christmas I spent the whole day with my mom and I was frustrated, confused and trapped. The day after that was Saturday. I took my kid brother to his bowling league and my friend Jennifer called to ask me to babysit her kids from 5:50pm - 1am. I gratefully accepted the excuse to leave my parents and spend the evening doing anything else. At 5:45 a miracle happened. I was running late of course and running through my house putting together a backpack to take to Jennifer's to entertain myself after the kids went to bed when my cell phone rang. I only get one bar of reception at my parents' house since we live in a small valley and as a result it's choppy and hard to understand the person on the line. But I knew it was Julie and after a few minutes of piecing the gaps together it finally dawned on me that she was inviting me to go to New York with her and her husband to pick up a car and that we would be leaving the very next day. I hurried through the conversation, remembering that I was very late for Jennifer's and told her I'd call her once I got there. A few minutes later she was at Jennifer's house as well and we were making plans for our New York adventure.
Jennifer and her husband came home at 1:45. I had to leave my house at 5am for the airport and I was far from packed. I slept for 45 minutes that night. My dad drove Lance, Julie and I to the airport still confused at why I was going and how I can be okay with such spontaneity. A few hours later we were in New York. We stayed in the Hilton at Times Square and we walked around the city for a bit. I was in heaven. The next day we took the Subway to Manhattan to pick up the Suburban they had purchased off of Ebay and at 6pm on Monday we started our trip across country. We rotated between drivers and drove around the clock, driving through ten states and arriving in Salt Lake City on Wednesday around 1pm.
I love Lance and Julie Faerber. I love New York. I love road trips. I love randomness and craziness. I love Christmas miracles. And I love that I'M BACK!!!
On Christmas day I was ready to snap. The day after Christmas I spent the whole day with my mom and I was frustrated, confused and trapped. The day after that was Saturday. I took my kid brother to his bowling league and my friend Jennifer called to ask me to babysit her kids from 5:50pm - 1am. I gratefully accepted the excuse to leave my parents and spend the evening doing anything else. At 5:45 a miracle happened. I was running late of course and running through my house putting together a backpack to take to Jennifer's to entertain myself after the kids went to bed when my cell phone rang. I only get one bar of reception at my parents' house since we live in a small valley and as a result it's choppy and hard to understand the person on the line. But I knew it was Julie and after a few minutes of piecing the gaps together it finally dawned on me that she was inviting me to go to New York with her and her husband to pick up a car and that we would be leaving the very next day. I hurried through the conversation, remembering that I was very late for Jennifer's and told her I'd call her once I got there. A few minutes later she was at Jennifer's house as well and we were making plans for our New York adventure.
Jennifer and her husband came home at 1:45. I had to leave my house at 5am for the airport and I was far from packed. I slept for 45 minutes that night. My dad drove Lance, Julie and I to the airport still confused at why I was going and how I can be okay with such spontaneity. A few hours later we were in New York. We stayed in the Hilton at Times Square and we walked around the city for a bit. I was in heaven. The next day we took the Subway to Manhattan to pick up the Suburban they had purchased off of Ebay and at 6pm on Monday we started our trip across country. We rotated between drivers and drove around the clock, driving through ten states and arriving in Salt Lake City on Wednesday around 1pm.
I love Lance and Julie Faerber. I love New York. I love road trips. I love randomness and craziness. I love Christmas miracles. And I love that I'M BACK!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Merry Christmas... And One HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hurray for Christmas! I'm half way done! In just six days I'll be home again. Just in time for New Years. This morning has been... interesting. But interesting in the usual way. My sister yelled at my parents for being disorganized, crazy and annoying and I got blamed for it. I cooked breakfast this morning and cleaned up and my sister got credit for it. During our traditional Christmas breakfast my parents talked and talked about how wonderful my sister is then grilled me on how exactly I became the complete worthless piece of white dung I am now. Then we opened presents... and a Christmas miracle happened... because... well... there was one under there for me! I got a car stereo. It was just what I wanted and I'm so excited to have it installed when I get home... but mostly I'm just excited to get home. My sister's getting ready now to take me to Starbucks. She's still completely disgruntled with me for not going to the bar with her last night. But I think she'll get over it once I buy her a latte. No Wild Turkey or pot to be seen yet... but I'll keep you posted... :o)
Merry Christmas!
Hurray for Christmas! I'm half way done! In just six days I'll be home again. Just in time for New Years. This morning has been... interesting. But interesting in the usual way. My sister yelled at my parents for being disorganized, crazy and annoying and I got blamed for it. I cooked breakfast this morning and cleaned up and my sister got credit for it. During our traditional Christmas breakfast my parents talked and talked about how wonderful my sister is then grilled me on how exactly I became the complete worthless piece of white dung I am now. Then we opened presents... and a Christmas miracle happened... because... well... there was one under there for me! I got a car stereo. It was just what I wanted and I'm so excited to have it installed when I get home... but mostly I'm just excited to get home. My sister's getting ready now to take me to Starbucks. She's still completely disgruntled with me for not going to the bar with her last night. But I think she'll get over it once I buy her a latte. No Wild Turkey or pot to be seen yet... but I'll keep you posted... :o)
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Christmas Eve
So, it's Christmas Eve. The time has come. As tradition claims, tonight will go semi-smoothly. However, by tomorrow it'll be a Christmas mess. Perhaps though, this tradition will go to the dogs too. We've already stopped having stockings and we quit the tradition of me getting any gifts on Christmas quite a few years ago. I don't think we're opening up a present tonight. Another tradition bites the dust. So maybe, just maybe, the tradition of Christmas hell will also be discontinued. It only seems fair that it should go too.
On the plus side, it's a little after 7pm and I've only been home for a half hour. I babysat from 8am until 6:30pm and it was wonderful! Hurray for excuses to be around people who find me absolutely delightful! Merry Christmas!
So, it's Christmas Eve. The time has come. As tradition claims, tonight will go semi-smoothly. However, by tomorrow it'll be a Christmas mess. Perhaps though, this tradition will go to the dogs too. We've already stopped having stockings and we quit the tradition of me getting any gifts on Christmas quite a few years ago. I don't think we're opening up a present tonight. Another tradition bites the dust. So maybe, just maybe, the tradition of Christmas hell will also be discontinued. It only seems fair that it should go too.
On the plus side, it's a little after 7pm and I've only been home for a half hour. I babysat from 8am until 6:30pm and it was wonderful! Hurray for excuses to be around people who find me absolutely delightful! Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Babies
There are babies everywhere. I spent my entire day today babysitting. I babysat four very sick children (ages 10 mo, 2yrs, 5 yrs and 8 yrs) from 10am until 5pm. Then I babysat eight children (ages 10 mo, 2yrs, 3yrs, 5yrs, 6yrs, 6yrs, 8yrs, 8yrs) from 5pm to 9:30pm. It was crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
Tomorrow morning I'm babysitting again at 8am for five kids (ages 1yr, 3yrs, 5yrs, 7yrs, 9yrs). There are kids everywhere!
And I LOVE IT!
There are babies everywhere. I spent my entire day today babysitting. I babysat four very sick children (ages 10 mo, 2yrs, 5 yrs and 8 yrs) from 10am until 5pm. Then I babysat eight children (ages 10 mo, 2yrs, 3yrs, 5yrs, 6yrs, 6yrs, 8yrs, 8yrs) from 5pm to 9:30pm. It was crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
Tomorrow morning I'm babysitting again at 8am for five kids (ages 1yr, 3yrs, 5yrs, 7yrs, 9yrs). There are kids everywhere!
And I LOVE IT!
Saturday, December 20, 2003
Hansen Christmas Is For The Dogs
Literally.
Our tree, once decorated with ornaments created by young Judy, Emily and Wayne hands amidst beautiful Christmas ornaments with stories of their own have now been replaced with ornaments for our dogs. There are bone ornaments, puppy ornaments, dogs dressed as Santa, dogs dressed as elves, dogs with candy canes, dogs with stars... it's actually really embarassing.
The Christmas decorations all around the house have a common theme... dogs, dogs, dogs. Everything says either Oreo or Mitzi on it. All the Christmas treats are in their Christmas tins and on their Christmas plates but they all say things like "Liver flavored" or "Special Doggie Christmas Delight" on them. Not for me. For the dogs.
There are presents already wrapped with great care placed under the tree and hidden in my parents' room. But they all say "To: Oreo; From: Santa" or "To: Mitzi; From: Mom and Dad." It's sick. The wrapping paper even has Santas and doggie bones on it.
I've been home for less than 24 hours but if my mom makes me refer to those dogs as my sisters one more time I swear I'm going to snap. I refuse to give up my chair or my food when one of them stares at me and blinks. I refuse to believe that that hurts their feelings and choose to believe instead that they're as confused as I am as to why the house has exploded into an embarassing display of tinsel and puppies.
This Christmas is for the dogs.
Literally.
Our tree, once decorated with ornaments created by young Judy, Emily and Wayne hands amidst beautiful Christmas ornaments with stories of their own have now been replaced with ornaments for our dogs. There are bone ornaments, puppy ornaments, dogs dressed as Santa, dogs dressed as elves, dogs with candy canes, dogs with stars... it's actually really embarassing.
The Christmas decorations all around the house have a common theme... dogs, dogs, dogs. Everything says either Oreo or Mitzi on it. All the Christmas treats are in their Christmas tins and on their Christmas plates but they all say things like "Liver flavored" or "Special Doggie Christmas Delight" on them. Not for me. For the dogs.
There are presents already wrapped with great care placed under the tree and hidden in my parents' room. But they all say "To: Oreo; From: Santa" or "To: Mitzi; From: Mom and Dad." It's sick. The wrapping paper even has Santas and doggie bones on it.
I've been home for less than 24 hours but if my mom makes me refer to those dogs as my sisters one more time I swear I'm going to snap. I refuse to give up my chair or my food when one of them stares at me and blinks. I refuse to believe that that hurts their feelings and choose to believe instead that they're as confused as I am as to why the house has exploded into an embarassing display of tinsel and puppies.
This Christmas is for the dogs.
Northwest Christmas
It's raining. Quite appropriate really. But it's also green and beautiful. I have no more tears to cry and my half dead appearance can be blamed on my three hours of sleep last night. So far I have been attacked by two dogs and a few cats, watched my brother bowl for a few hours while being introduced to all my mom's white trash friends (who are actually quite delightful!), did six word search puzzles and ate two candy canes. I smell like dog and cigarette smoke. I've heard more cussing and seen more color than I have in four months and it's barely noon. Ah, home sweet home... Merry Christmas!
It's raining. Quite appropriate really. But it's also green and beautiful. I have no more tears to cry and my half dead appearance can be blamed on my three hours of sleep last night. So far I have been attacked by two dogs and a few cats, watched my brother bowl for a few hours while being introduced to all my mom's white trash friends (who are actually quite delightful!), did six word search puzzles and ate two candy canes. I smell like dog and cigarette smoke. I've heard more cussing and seen more color than I have in four months and it's barely noon. Ah, home sweet home... Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 19, 2003
Happy Birthday to Me!!
Hurray for being 23. Hurray for AMAZING friends who put tons of work into a fantastic surprise party. Hurray for being done with work for a few weeks. Hurray for the sunshine outside. Hurray for tons and tons of candy canes. Hurray for Excedrin PM. Hurray for friends with phone numbers. Hurray for 22 first graders who think I'm cool. Hurray for chocolate. Hurray for birthdays, thoughtful and wonderful friends, airplanes, drugs and prayer.
Hurray!
Hurray for being 23. Hurray for AMAZING friends who put tons of work into a fantastic surprise party. Hurray for being done with work for a few weeks. Hurray for the sunshine outside. Hurray for tons and tons of candy canes. Hurray for Excedrin PM. Hurray for friends with phone numbers. Hurray for 22 first graders who think I'm cool. Hurray for chocolate. Hurray for birthdays, thoughtful and wonderful friends, airplanes, drugs and prayer.
Hurray!
Monday, December 15, 2003
Right On Schedule
Everything is going according to planned. But I don't remember planning these events. In fact I don't even remember when all of this stuff was originally planned at all and I don't recognize the handwriting. But somehow I know I'm right on schedule, whether I like the upcoming events or not. But good news... January starts a whole new year and with new years come new day planners with new events... better events... and in my own handwriting.
Everything is going according to planned. But I don't remember planning these events. In fact I don't even remember when all of this stuff was originally planned at all and I don't recognize the handwriting. But somehow I know I'm right on schedule, whether I like the upcoming events or not. But good news... January starts a whole new year and with new years come new day planners with new events... better events... and in my own handwriting.
Saturday, December 13, 2003
Friday, December 12, 2003
GRE Madness
I've spent the last two hours studying for the GRE. I spent five hours yesterday doing the same thing. And I expect to use the next two hours reviewing the same questions I have now missed twenty million times in a row. I take the test at 8am tomorrow morning and since the test is computerized, as soon as I'm finished my score will flash on the screen like an unwanted pornography pop-up. I'll do my best not to cry or throw anything at the screen and get up acting as if I just qualified for Stanford, walk to my car, cry frustrated tears, then drive to the mall and spend money I don't have until five o'clock when the ward gets to SLC to see the lights. At this point I'll pretend like nothing happened, wander around with the ward, probably get white-washed by Steve and then move on with life. Such is the GRE... such is life...
I've spent the last two hours studying for the GRE. I spent five hours yesterday doing the same thing. And I expect to use the next two hours reviewing the same questions I have now missed twenty million times in a row. I take the test at 8am tomorrow morning and since the test is computerized, as soon as I'm finished my score will flash on the screen like an unwanted pornography pop-up. I'll do my best not to cry or throw anything at the screen and get up acting as if I just qualified for Stanford, walk to my car, cry frustrated tears, then drive to the mall and spend money I don't have until five o'clock when the ward gets to SLC to see the lights. At this point I'll pretend like nothing happened, wander around with the ward, probably get white-washed by Steve and then move on with life. Such is the GRE... such is life...
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Jell
For interactive writing time, the teacher gives the kids an ending sound and then the kids raise their hands to tell her the words they thought of that end in that way. Then the teacher spells it for them as they write it on some big paper at the front of the class. Then I cut them out and tape them to corresponding shapes.
Yesterday was the -ell sound. Imagine the possibilities! (I had one in particular running through my head right after I ran into the bookshelf for the tenth time today.) I looked over the words they had written yesterday in their cute first-grader handwriting. Bell, tell, Nell, fell, smell, jell... What? Jell. That's right. Jell.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. I asked the teacher if she wanted me to tape "jell" to the shape of the bell with the other words even though jell wasn't a real word.
"But gel is a word."
"Right. But this is j-e-l-l."
"How do you spell it then?"
"G-e-l."
"But jelly is j-e-l-l-y and jell-O is spelled j-e-l-l-o-w."
"Jell-O is spelled J-e-l-l-o."
"Isn't it spelled like yellow?"
"No. And even though jelly and jell-O are with a "j", gel is with a "g" because it's short for gelatin."
"Oh, well... if you're sure then don't tape it up."
"Okay..."
And that was that. Jell? And Jellow? For heaven's sake! There's even a song for that one! Jell-O's had the same jingle for the last 50 years! J-E-L-L-O!
For interactive writing time, the teacher gives the kids an ending sound and then the kids raise their hands to tell her the words they thought of that end in that way. Then the teacher spells it for them as they write it on some big paper at the front of the class. Then I cut them out and tape them to corresponding shapes.
Yesterday was the -ell sound. Imagine the possibilities! (I had one in particular running through my head right after I ran into the bookshelf for the tenth time today.) I looked over the words they had written yesterday in their cute first-grader handwriting. Bell, tell, Nell, fell, smell, jell... What? Jell. That's right. Jell.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. I asked the teacher if she wanted me to tape "jell" to the shape of the bell with the other words even though jell wasn't a real word.
"But gel is a word."
"Right. But this is j-e-l-l."
"How do you spell it then?"
"G-e-l."
"But jelly is j-e-l-l-y and jell-O is spelled j-e-l-l-o-w."
"Jell-O is spelled J-e-l-l-o."
"Isn't it spelled like yellow?"
"No. And even though jelly and jell-O are with a "j", gel is with a "g" because it's short for gelatin."
"Oh, well... if you're sure then don't tape it up."
"Okay..."
And that was that. Jell? And Jellow? For heaven's sake! There's even a song for that one! Jell-O's had the same jingle for the last 50 years! J-E-L-L-O!
Monday, December 01, 2003
Moments of Surprise
Sometimes I surprise myself. For example, after just getting sick because I drank a milkshake, why would I decide that cereal with milk would be a good idea? When panicking and crying this morning, why did I decide that calling my dad would be the best option? Who knew that it was possible to be late to work three times in one day? I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. Actually, I'm kind of surprised that I'm surprised... hmmm... interesting...
Sometimes I surprise myself. For example, after just getting sick because I drank a milkshake, why would I decide that cereal with milk would be a good idea? When panicking and crying this morning, why did I decide that calling my dad would be the best option? Who knew that it was possible to be late to work three times in one day? I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. Actually, I'm kind of surprised that I'm surprised... hmmm... interesting...
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