Friday, January 02, 2004


The best defense I have is the old Smile-n-Nod trick. (Not to be confused with the Wink-n-Cock.) The Smile-n-Nod comes in handy in numerous situations. It's the ultimate cure all for all those "I wasn't listening" and "I have no idea what you're talking about" kind of moments. Most people are just looking for validation and the Smile-n-Nod tends to do the trick.

Personally, I zone a lot. I'm not all that smart and although I may have a look of focus and concern on my face, my mind is usually far away, thinking about why I chose the outfit I'm wearing, whether or not I remembered to put on make-up or that one guy's name on that one show I was watching three weeks ago. But usually I hear only tropical music and visualize palm trees and the Disneyland Theme Park.

I have to admit that there are days that the Smile-n-Nod is my only lifeline to the real world.

But buyer beware... there are side effects if the Smile-n-Nod is used is an unopportune time. There are occasions when you're actually supposed to be answering questions and the Smile-n-Nod will commit you to doing something you were actually unaware of since you were on Splash Mountain instead of listening to why so and so needs you to give them your car, your wallet and about 50 hours of your time.

Here are some cues that it's time to utilize the Smile-n-Nod...
"Don't you think so?", "Wouldn't you agree", "And that's my story about...", "It's been nice meeting you."
Here are some cues not to use the Smile-n-Nod...
"So I'll pick you up at seven then?", "So you'll take me there?", "And you'll be paying?", "You'll help me with that?"

The good ol' Smile-n-Nod. A faithful friend...

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