Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Emese

It's true that I have my own language. It takes a while to get used to it and I frequently need interpreters when I go out in public. Sarah has been my lifelong interpreter which was always entertaining because a conversation would go as follows...

Random person to Wayne: Hi, Wayne, how are you today?
Me (signing) to Wayne: Hi, Wayne, how are you today?
Wayne to Random person: Fine, but I kinda have a sore throat.
Me (speaking) to Random person: Finea, butIkind ahavasorethroat.
Random person: WHAT??
Sarah: She said that he's fine but he kind of has a sore throat.
Random person: Oh...

My "speech impediment" has become my language. It's true that I struggle sometimes with miscommuncation but this week has been ridiculous...

Apparantly me saying, "If Mom and Dad say you can't go to California with the basketball team then you can't. You're not even on the team. I understand that you want to, but it just doesn't make sense" is heard as, "I support you in your decision to go to California and I will fight Mom and Dad for you."

Obviously one can see that me saying, "Sure, I guess that going to California would be fun this summer. I mean, it's a family vacation has never been attempted before but if you can convince Mom to get in a car for a road trip and Dad to cough up actual money then sure... I'll go." which can easily be mistaken for, "Forget Mom and Dad. If they don't want to go to California, then I'll take you. I have lots of money and would love to spend it on you as you eat your way through three amusement parks and four beaches. And I will fight Mom and Dad for you."

It's no wonder how, "I don't want to talk right now because I'm watching the basketball game" can easily be misunderstood as, "Please talk. Talk more. Keep talking. You know the only thing that would be better? Put mom on!"

I can see how me saying, "Where's Brittani?" to be, "I take full responsibility for everything that Brittani does from morning until night and I understand that although I am not her mother, it is obviously my fault that her progress report is still unsigned."

Me saying, "Please don't run in the hall." can easily be heard as, "Run! Run! Run!"

Emese. My curse. Sigh.

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