Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Playing By The Rules

I knew that showing up at an elementary school without any green on St. Patrick's Day would be suicide. And so I made sure that I wore a lot of green to ensure my safety. I'm not stupid. I know the rules. If you don't wear green then you're free game in the hunt and the children are armed with tiny fingers that can pinch just enough skin to really hurt. But I had totally forgotten the counter-rule. If you pinch somebody who is wearing green then that person is allowed to pinch back ten times! And I was approached with deep questions that I had never considered before like, "Are you allowed to hide your green so that people will think you don't have any green on so they'll pinch you so that you can pinch them back ten times?" and "How hard can we pinch?" and "Can I pinch them here? How about here?" and "Do you think that green is green enough or can I pinch him or would he be allowed to pinch me ten times even though that green is pretty yellow?" Deep questions. I tried to consult the St Pat's Rule Book but all I discovered from there was that it was the only day of the year that Ale was a permitted substitute for milk in the school lunches...

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