Liar

"Watch out for this one! He's a liar!" Bishop warned Ashley about Tim's Fat Boy antics. So lying's... bad... but what if you do it by mistake? I used to make fun of Liz and her "accidental lying" but really, who doesn't accidentally lie? We can't be the only two here! Here are a few examples of when I accidentally lie...

Example A:
Place: The BYU Library Girls' Bathroom
Time: 10 - 11pm?
Number of Hours I had been awake: 39
I dragged myself out of the stall and while leaning on the sink for support, I washed my hands and dried them on some paper towels from above the same sink. There was another girl in there. Although she was right beside me, I didn't even notice her until she spoke. "Sorry if this is gross but I split my foot on these stupid flip-flops and if I don't clean it it's going to get nasty." I looked down at what she was doing. She was cleaning the dirt out from between her toes where the flip-flop had dug in. "Don't even worry about it. It happens to me all the time."
LIAR! That has NEVER happened to me! I don't even wear flip-flops! I hate feet! Where in the world did that come from? As I left, stumbled down the hall back to my friends working on the FHE video I thought about what could possibly be the matter with me. I could have stopped at "Don't worry about it." Why did I add the last part which is a blatant lie? Without thinking about it? Weird.

Example B:
Place: Everywhere
Time: Lots of times
This happens to me all the time. And every time I lie without even really thinking about it.
Person: So, how was school?
Em: Fine.
OR...
Person: How is school going?
Em: Fine.
OR...
Person: Is school stressing you out?
Em: No, it's fine.
Every time I lie. I don't go to school! But it would take too much effort to say, "I don't go to school." And then answer all of the questions about why and about what I'm doing instead and whether or not I'm going to go to grad school or what I'm going to do with the degree or whether or not I'm ever going to amount to anything. And so I just say, "Fine." I mean, I WORK AT A SCHOOL. Shouldn't that count?

Example C:
Place: Lots of places
Time: Lots of times
The get out of future obligations lie.
Person: What're you up to tonight?
Me: Stuff. Lots of stuff. Ya... whew! Got lots of stuff to do.
I never have anything to do. I just didn't want to do what they wanted me to do and so instead of saying, "I don't want to do whatever it is you're going to ask me to do with you... I'm going to pretend that I have something else to do." I don't really think about it... it's kind of a defense mechanism.

Example D:
Place: On the phone
Time: A lot of times!
Every time my parents call I have the same reflex I had as a kid... LIE!
Parent: Is Emily there?
Em: Nope!
But it's me on the phone. I lied. Right there. I know they don't recognize my voice and so I reflexively lie.

I'm a liar.