It's my last night in Renton. Of all the nights, the last one is the worst because it means goodbyes and transition. I know that tomorrow morning I'll wake up, make a mad dash for my airplane and two hours later I'll be back in Utah and this trip will take an instant backseat as I play with my friends and celebrate the new year.
I'll forget how much I hated the rain and the three hours of "sunlight" and how crazy my mother made me. I'll forget how hard it was to say goodbye and the smell of pine trees. I'll forget. Because my memory is bad. And I'm fickle.
But right now I'm just sad. Because I love it here and I can't imagine going back to dust and cold. I've started thinking seriously about moving back up here, settling down, start making some investments and growing up.
But tomorrow I'll forget.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Home Sick
I'm sick. And I'm at home. And the combination is killing me. I had nightmares last night about how my mom used to behave when I was sick as a kid. And when I woke up, the nightmare just continued on where I left off.
Friday, December 23, 2005
I'll Be Home For Christmas
Wednesday night, as it was coming time for everybody to go to bed my mom looked at me and said, "Where are earth are you going to sleep?!"
"Gee, mom. I dunno. I thought that maybe you would have planned on that since I've had the tickets since September."
"Well, I suppose I can clear off the top bunk... but I was using it for storage."
"Sorry for the inconvenience."
"I guess it's alright."
I heard a few clumps as she hurled some stuff off the top bunk into a heap on the floor and then a shout, "Ready!"
Great... I crawled between the pet hair infested old blankets (there were about twelve and muddled up, two sleeping bags, one rolled and one flat, two body pillows and four other pillows) and fell asleep.
The next morning the phone rang. My mom shouted her hellos, even Wayne turned over in the bed below. "What? Who is this? Shelby? She's sleeping! I was told not to wake her up! Okay! Bye!" I heard the whole thing. Obviously. And although I was very excited to see my Shelby I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. But in two seconds my mom's face was peering over the bunk, "Emily! Emily! Shelby called and she wants to play with you! But don't worry. I told her that she couldn't talk to you yet because you wanted to sleep. So instead of waking you up, I told her you'd call her back. See how well I listen? But I wanted to tell you before I forgot."
"Ya... thanks mom. I would have hated it if you had woken me up..."
"No problem!"
Last night, I crawled into the same bed and found a battery (that I had most certainly slept on top of the night before) and a black stocking with white dog paws printed on it filled with doggie treats and toys that I had mistakenly used as a lumpy pillow the night before. As I was getting ready this morning my mom burst through the bathroom door (knocking is a lost luxury) and announced that we weren't doing stockings this year. "Really? I found one in my bed last night."
"Hey! That's for the dogs! What did you do with it?"
"Don't worry... I just put it at the foot of the bed and went to sleep. If I can sleep with all of their hair then I can sleep with their Christmas stocking."
"Okay. Just as long as you didn't throw it off. I had it all in there perfect..."
Why can't humans hibernate?
"Gee, mom. I dunno. I thought that maybe you would have planned on that since I've had the tickets since September."
"Well, I suppose I can clear off the top bunk... but I was using it for storage."
"Sorry for the inconvenience."
"I guess it's alright."
I heard a few clumps as she hurled some stuff off the top bunk into a heap on the floor and then a shout, "Ready!"
Great... I crawled between the pet hair infested old blankets (there were about twelve and muddled up, two sleeping bags, one rolled and one flat, two body pillows and four other pillows) and fell asleep.
The next morning the phone rang. My mom shouted her hellos, even Wayne turned over in the bed below. "What? Who is this? Shelby? She's sleeping! I was told not to wake her up! Okay! Bye!" I heard the whole thing. Obviously. And although I was very excited to see my Shelby I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. But in two seconds my mom's face was peering over the bunk, "Emily! Emily! Shelby called and she wants to play with you! But don't worry. I told her that she couldn't talk to you yet because you wanted to sleep. So instead of waking you up, I told her you'd call her back. See how well I listen? But I wanted to tell you before I forgot."
"Ya... thanks mom. I would have hated it if you had woken me up..."
"No problem!"
Last night, I crawled into the same bed and found a battery (that I had most certainly slept on top of the night before) and a black stocking with white dog paws printed on it filled with doggie treats and toys that I had mistakenly used as a lumpy pillow the night before. As I was getting ready this morning my mom burst through the bathroom door (knocking is a lost luxury) and announced that we weren't doing stockings this year. "Really? I found one in my bed last night."
"Hey! That's for the dogs! What did you do with it?"
"Don't worry... I just put it at the foot of the bed and went to sleep. If I can sleep with all of their hair then I can sleep with their Christmas stocking."
"Okay. Just as long as you didn't throw it off. I had it all in there perfect..."
Why can't humans hibernate?
Monday, December 19, 2005
Quarter of a Century
Today I'm 25. A whole quarter of a century. Which
makes a girl think about things she's never thought
about before. Like what bark on a tree is made of.
And it makes a girl reminisce about what she was doing
when she was only a quarter of a quarter of a century
and how much I've grown.
For example, I am at least a half inch taller than I
was then. And now I like my chocolate with nuts (or
without... really, I've just grown less particular).
I'm not afraid of the haunted book in the Care Bears
Movie (well... not as much) and I can walk to my bed
in the dark without running and crying in fear
(usually). I don't watch the same Disney movie over
and over anymore (since now I own many Disney movies
and watch them on a longer rotation.) And I'm no
longer afraid of my family (probably because I moved a
thousand miles away).
Besides those few exceptions, I'm pretty much the same
girl that eats ice cream for dinner, likes to play
dress-up and has to have a hoodie or blanket to cover
my face if the movie has anything scary in it like
glaring or uncoordinated outfits.
A quarter of a quarter of a century or a quarter of a
century... I'm "Just Em!"
__________________________________________________
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Christmas Miracle
My principle came into my office today, handed me an envelope and made me initial a list he had.
"Do you know about the (insert random term here)?"
"No."
"Oh. Well... ask somebody about it. Enjoy."
And he left.
I opened the envelope and inside was a US Bank gift card with a large sum of money (by my perspective). I thought maybe it was money for my classroom so I pushed it to the edge of my desk and made a mental note to ask my mentor about it later.
After school, I talked to my lead coordinator. She said the money was mine. Something about getting bonuses for attending workshops and it being government money yadda yadda yadda. I don't know. I couldn't make it out. All that matters is that now I have money where a few hours ago I had none. And I can buy Christmas presents when just a few hours ago I was contemplating if I had enough money for construction paper and glue. Hurray!
A Christmas Miracle.
"Do you know about the (insert random term here)?"
"No."
"Oh. Well... ask somebody about it. Enjoy."
And he left.
I opened the envelope and inside was a US Bank gift card with a large sum of money (by my perspective). I thought maybe it was money for my classroom so I pushed it to the edge of my desk and made a mental note to ask my mentor about it later.
After school, I talked to my lead coordinator. She said the money was mine. Something about getting bonuses for attending workshops and it being government money yadda yadda yadda. I don't know. I couldn't make it out. All that matters is that now I have money where a few hours ago I had none. And I can buy Christmas presents when just a few hours ago I was contemplating if I had enough money for construction paper and glue. Hurray!
A Christmas Miracle.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
At Last
Yesterday I ate pumpkin pie.
You have no idea what a big deal this was. I have been craving pumpkin pie since Thanksgiving when it came to that point in the meal when we were supposed to eat it (it was on the shopping list!) and instead got a chocolate frosted brownie. I love chocolate brownies. But it was Thanksgiving. I needed pumpkin pie. Duh.
So I dragged Jay and Lisa from grocery store to grocery store, from restaurant to restaurant trying to find anybody that was open and had some pie. But nobody was open. Because it was Thanksgiving.
The next day I tried again. Surely, there would be plenty of discounted pumpkin pie the day after Thanksgiving. But there wasn't. Not one. So I bought pumpkin pie ice cream. And thought it would satisfy the lust. But it didn't. (Although it was very good.)
Obviously something had to be done. So, on Monday I went to Macey's and bought a small pumpkin pie and some whipped topping (a necessary companion) and brought it home. I planned on eating a large piece that night. But I was hungry and realized that my stomach so far contained only 2 Diet Pepsis and a Handi-Snack that I had found at the bottom of my backpack around 10am. I needed food.
I went to Taco Bell and waited through 5 songs (almost 20 minutes) for a pimply high-schooler to throw 5 ingredients together that would be my "real food dinner." By the time I got it, my stomach had actually turned inside out and had started eating my kidneys and liver so I had to scarf the food down as quickly as possible in order to save my other internal organs.
So I was full. Too full for pie.
TOO FULL FOR PIE!!
I had to wait...
The next day (yesterday in case the time lapse was hard to follow) I ran home during my lunch break, ate a few tortilla chips and then went in for the kill. I ate a large piece of the small pie with a large gallop of whipped topping. And it was good. Very good.
At last.
You have no idea what a big deal this was. I have been craving pumpkin pie since Thanksgiving when it came to that point in the meal when we were supposed to eat it (it was on the shopping list!) and instead got a chocolate frosted brownie. I love chocolate brownies. But it was Thanksgiving. I needed pumpkin pie. Duh.
So I dragged Jay and Lisa from grocery store to grocery store, from restaurant to restaurant trying to find anybody that was open and had some pie. But nobody was open. Because it was Thanksgiving.
The next day I tried again. Surely, there would be plenty of discounted pumpkin pie the day after Thanksgiving. But there wasn't. Not one. So I bought pumpkin pie ice cream. And thought it would satisfy the lust. But it didn't. (Although it was very good.)
Obviously something had to be done. So, on Monday I went to Macey's and bought a small pumpkin pie and some whipped topping (a necessary companion) and brought it home. I planned on eating a large piece that night. But I was hungry and realized that my stomach so far contained only 2 Diet Pepsis and a Handi-Snack that I had found at the bottom of my backpack around 10am. I needed food.
I went to Taco Bell and waited through 5 songs (almost 20 minutes) for a pimply high-schooler to throw 5 ingredients together that would be my "real food dinner." By the time I got it, my stomach had actually turned inside out and had started eating my kidneys and liver so I had to scarf the food down as quickly as possible in order to save my other internal organs.
So I was full. Too full for pie.
TOO FULL FOR PIE!!
I had to wait...
The next day (yesterday in case the time lapse was hard to follow) I ran home during my lunch break, ate a few tortilla chips and then went in for the kill. I ate a large piece of the small pie with a large gallop of whipped topping. And it was good. Very good.
At last.
Friday, November 18, 2005
PRAXIS
Tomorrow morning at 8am (I think) I'll be taking a one or two (maybe
three?) hour test comprising of written and multiple choice questions
(I'm pretty sure) that will determine whether or not I will be a
licensed teacher for the coming school year.
If I don't pass, then the last year and a half will have been for
nought. And I'll just be out the over $15,000.
And yet, I'm not worried. I haven't even begun to study. Mostly
because I'm lazy and have lost the will to go on. Partly because my
professors keep saying it's no big deal.
I should probably at least make sure I know when the test starts...
that would be good.
It's So Extreme!
I have Dance Dance Revolution Extreme, two dance pads and a drive to
win! My memory card got corrupted somehow and I lost all of the
scores, characters and new songs I had gained over the last summer.
So, last Friday I bought a new memory card and started dancing my
heart out! I have put in about eleven hours of dance time on that
thing since then. I only have one character left.
This weekend... it's mine!
Monday, November 14, 2005
Dream Weaver
I had a dream last night that I went to the doctor and she told me that I had a fatal disease and only had a week and a half to live. Ten days.
When I woke up, I realized that I go home soon. In ten days.
Think there's a correlation?
When I woke up, I realized that I go home soon. In ten days.
Think there's a correlation?
Thursday, November 03, 2005
BS Royalty
Class was boring. We had to look at test results and then as a group classify (or give reasons for not classifying) a hypothetical student with a special education classification. I got voted as the "speaker" for our group because they said I said, "Uh... it depends..." in the most intelligent manner.
The teacher said she was impressed.
I sat down and starting reading blogs. Some were pretty funny and sometimes I chorkled out loud. Obviously not paying attention. There were six more groups to sit through... all the same... "Uh... it depends..."
I heard the teacher say, "Uh... what's her name?" Was she talking about me? I looked up. "Emily," they said. "Oh, Emily... what do you think about this?"
I had no idea what they were talking about. "Uh... well... let's see... well... like I said before, the numbers displayed here are all well and good and sure, they give us a good idea of what the child's cognitive ability is and a general idea of the knowledge they've acquired so far... but it's hard to say if the child has an actual learning disability based on these numbers alone. I mean, is it really a communication disorder or is it because the child is Spanish speaking and new to the country? Can this individual child benefit from special services or would it actually have negative effects taking him out of a general education classroom where he'll be exposed to a wider variety of opportunities to expand his vocabulary? It all comes down to knowing the child, observing him in class, asking his parents how he does at home and looking at his classroom work and behavior. Every child is different." (a.k.a "It depends...")
"Wow! You obviously has a lot of background knowledge in this sort of situation."
"Sure."
I turned to my neighbor, "Is that what we were talking about?"
"Yes. I didn't think you were paying attention."
"I wasn't."
Obviously, reading was too distracting. So I played some internet games that I could still kind of listen to what was being talked about in class. But not really. Because soon the room fell silent again and all eyes were on me again.
"My turn to talk again?"
The teacher nodded.
I said, "Uh... It depends..." using some other terms I pulled out of nowhere.
The teacher said "Wow!" again. My classmates applauded. They actually applauded my BS answer!
I am the Queen of BS!!
The teacher said she was impressed.
I sat down and starting reading blogs. Some were pretty funny and sometimes I chorkled out loud. Obviously not paying attention. There were six more groups to sit through... all the same... "Uh... it depends..."
I heard the teacher say, "Uh... what's her name?" Was she talking about me? I looked up. "Emily," they said. "Oh, Emily... what do you think about this?"
I had no idea what they were talking about. "Uh... well... let's see... well... like I said before, the numbers displayed here are all well and good and sure, they give us a good idea of what the child's cognitive ability is and a general idea of the knowledge they've acquired so far... but it's hard to say if the child has an actual learning disability based on these numbers alone. I mean, is it really a communication disorder or is it because the child is Spanish speaking and new to the country? Can this individual child benefit from special services or would it actually have negative effects taking him out of a general education classroom where he'll be exposed to a wider variety of opportunities to expand his vocabulary? It all comes down to knowing the child, observing him in class, asking his parents how he does at home and looking at his classroom work and behavior. Every child is different." (a.k.a "It depends...")
"Wow! You obviously has a lot of background knowledge in this sort of situation."
"Sure."
I turned to my neighbor, "Is that what we were talking about?"
"Yes. I didn't think you were paying attention."
"I wasn't."
Obviously, reading was too distracting. So I played some internet games that I could still kind of listen to what was being talked about in class. But not really. Because soon the room fell silent again and all eyes were on me again.
"My turn to talk again?"
The teacher nodded.
I said, "Uh... It depends..." using some other terms I pulled out of nowhere.
The teacher said "Wow!" again. My classmates applauded. They actually applauded my BS answer!
I am the Queen of BS!!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Finally It Has Happened To Me
I like Diet Coke.
I went to Costco for dinner. Only Coke products. I decided to try the Diet Coke just one more time. And...
I liked it.
That's all.
Not a classic anecdote.
I went to Costco for dinner. Only Coke products. I decided to try the Diet Coke just one more time. And...
I liked it.
That's all.
Not a classic anecdote.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween!
I was a pizza today. And then the Spirit of Christmas.
I watched all of the kids at the school parade around and I taught... nothing.
I talked to Heather and went to a party.
And played Speed Scrabble with the Freestones.
I found out that Leah's coming for a visit THIS weekend!
I ate a delicious breakfast sandwich from Gandolfo's.
And got a really nice compliment from my professor.
Good day. Good day.
How was your Halloween?
I watched all of the kids at the school parade around and I taught... nothing.
I talked to Heather and went to a party.
And played Speed Scrabble with the Freestones.
I found out that Leah's coming for a visit THIS weekend!
I ate a delicious breakfast sandwich from Gandolfo's.
And got a really nice compliment from my professor.
Good day. Good day.
How was your Halloween?
Monday, October 24, 2005
Mountain Time
I made the trip back from Seattle in twelve hours. I was cookin'. I was exhausted and smelly so I took a shower and then crawled into bed.
It was a rough night. It took me a while to fall asleep and it was a tossy and turny kind of night. When my alarm clock went off at 7am I didn't know where I was. Was I in Seattle? Where's Shelby and Preston? Was I in Utah? Is this my bed?
When I finally caught a hold of reality I jumped up and started getting ready for the day. I was replying to an email when I looked up at the right hand corner of my iBook and it said 8:30. 8:30? What's wrong with my computer? I looked at the wall. 8:30. 8:30!!
And then it dawned on me. I use my cell phone for my alarm clock. I turned my cell phone over to Pacific Time while I was in Seattle. And then forgot to change it back to Mountain Time!
I was wearing my work pants and my pajama top. No make-up. Hair in a ratty pony tail. Didn't care. I grabbed my purse and ran for my car. I was supposed to be at work at 8. The kids come in at 8:30. When I got there, they were waiting for me in my mentor teacher's room. I went in and picked them up and brought them to my class.
"Where were you? I've never had a TEACHER late before!"
Shut up.
It was a rough night. It took me a while to fall asleep and it was a tossy and turny kind of night. When my alarm clock went off at 7am I didn't know where I was. Was I in Seattle? Where's Shelby and Preston? Was I in Utah? Is this my bed?
When I finally caught a hold of reality I jumped up and started getting ready for the day. I was replying to an email when I looked up at the right hand corner of my iBook and it said 8:30. 8:30? What's wrong with my computer? I looked at the wall. 8:30. 8:30!!
And then it dawned on me. I use my cell phone for my alarm clock. I turned my cell phone over to Pacific Time while I was in Seattle. And then forgot to change it back to Mountain Time!
I was wearing my work pants and my pajama top. No make-up. Hair in a ratty pony tail. Didn't care. I grabbed my purse and ran for my car. I was supposed to be at work at 8. The kids come in at 8:30. When I got there, they were waiting for me in my mentor teacher's room. I went in and picked them up and brought them to my class.
"Where were you? I've never had a TEACHER late before!"
Shut up.
Friday, October 21, 2005
No Market for Kids
My grandma used to talk about me to her friends in front of me. Always good things. She'd tell her friends about my good grades or something I did for her and then she'd pull my face up to hers by holding up my chin and say, "It's too bad there's no market for kids."
For years I had no idea what that meant. I was probably in middle school before I realized it was a compliment.
I spent the whole day with her today. I got there at 7am and left around 8pm. I comforted her before her tests and reassured her after. I helped feed her, spoke to her doctors and talked to her about old times.
She thanked me over and over for coming. She bragged to the nurses about how she must have done something right to have her grandchild come so far to see her. And I could suddenly hear an echo from years before, my grandmother lifting my chin, smiling into my eyes and saying, "Too bad there's no market for kids."
For years I had no idea what that meant. I was probably in middle school before I realized it was a compliment.
I spent the whole day with her today. I got there at 7am and left around 8pm. I comforted her before her tests and reassured her after. I helped feed her, spoke to her doctors and talked to her about old times.
She thanked me over and over for coming. She bragged to the nurses about how she must have done something right to have her grandchild come so far to see her. And I could suddenly hear an echo from years before, my grandmother lifting my chin, smiling into my eyes and saying, "Too bad there's no market for kids."
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Yesterday
We went from a leaky breast implant, to a heart attack, to a spot on her liver. She suddenly can't remember where she is, what's going on and why she's wearing somebody else's flimsy robe.
And I just don't know what to do.
And I just don't know what to do.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Teaching Tragedies
You know what I love about my new job? Getting sick.
All the time.
Sick, sick, sick.
That's me.
I disninfected my whole classroom yesterday. Twice.
And yet... I'm sick again.
But at least I have a 4-day weekend this week.
Hurray!
Suckers...
__________________________________
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Friday, October 14, 2005
Bleeding from the Eyes
I went to the doctor today.
Because although my eyes look better, the redness is spreading. Ew.
But apparantly, I don't have Pink Eye.
No... instead tons of blood vessels decided to explode at once. This is due to stress.
Therefore, I am so stressed that I am bleeding from the eyes!
I am so messed up.
Because although my eyes look better, the redness is spreading. Ew.
But apparantly, I don't have Pink Eye.
No... instead tons of blood vessels decided to explode at once. This is due to stress.
Therefore, I am so stressed that I am bleeding from the eyes!
I am so messed up.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Dear Eyes,
Aaaggghhh!! Why are you blood red? You look like something out of a horror movie. I think. I don't really watch horror movies. But I don't because I'm scared I'll see eyes that look like the ones that now reside in my own head. Why? Why? Why?
Bite me,
Emily
Dear Anonymous Kid,
I don't know who you are or where you sleep. But I'll find out. And then not another day will go by that I won't be following you around with hand sanitizer.
Watch it,
Miss Hansen
Dear Bishop,
Thanks for letting me come over last night and looking at my nasty eyes. Also, thanks for letting me dip into your personal pharmacy in an effort to heal me.
You're my hero,
Em
Dear Kat,
I'm sorry that I gave you Pink Eye. Please accept my apology and this bar of chocolate.
Condolences,
Em
Aaaggghhh!! Why are you blood red? You look like something out of a horror movie. I think. I don't really watch horror movies. But I don't because I'm scared I'll see eyes that look like the ones that now reside in my own head. Why? Why? Why?
Bite me,
Emily
Dear Anonymous Kid,
I don't know who you are or where you sleep. But I'll find out. And then not another day will go by that I won't be following you around with hand sanitizer.
Watch it,
Miss Hansen
Dear Bishop,
Thanks for letting me come over last night and looking at my nasty eyes. Also, thanks for letting me dip into your personal pharmacy in an effort to heal me.
You're my hero,
Em
Dear Kat,
I'm sorry that I gave you Pink Eye. Please accept my apology and this bar of chocolate.
Condolences,
Em
Monday, October 03, 2005
Dear Lady In My Class,
Bright pink lipstick does NOT go with everything. It just doesn't. Especially orange. Or green. Or purple. In fact, it doesn't go with anything a normal human being should wear. Please, please, just stop. You're hurting me. Also, if you inerrupt lecture to ask another question about Tier 2 and how that applied to each of your students in an individual basis one more time I'm going to snap.
Thanks so much,
The Pained
Bright pink lipstick does NOT go with everything. It just doesn't. Especially orange. Or green. Or purple. In fact, it doesn't go with anything a normal human being should wear. Please, please, just stop. You're hurting me. Also, if you inerrupt lecture to ask another question about Tier 2 and how that applied to each of your students in an individual basis one more time I'm going to snap.
Thanks so much,
The Pained
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