Baby Boy

Today I was exceptionally excited because I finally got my computer back. It's true. It was a mini miracle. I checked my email for the first time in ages and this is what I got...

I want to say I miss and love you so much. And I am disappointed and upsetu cannot come for thanksgiving. It broke the traditional. I'm sad and imagine all the good how wonderful family for thanksgiving. Now without u, now it ruin and worst. It will not feel like thanksgiving to me. So love you so much
Wayne
W a Z z Y

So this is what I want to know... what do I do? That email broke my heart. And as much as I believe that I can in no way make Hansen Family Thanksgiving worse by me not being there, I feel bad. Because, well, he's young. And I'm a jerk. I promised that I would take care of him and then I ended up going to college and now I'm not even coming home for Thanksgiving? And what if my parents follow through with their threats? Quite frankly I wish the whole holiday would just disappear. Or that I could disappear for the holiday. I'd just rather not. Every single one of them up to this date has ended in tears, many of them mine. And I can't see this one being much different even if I am a thousand miles away. The day itself conjures up horrific memories and I turn into a huge freak. They're going to get me. They always do. By staying here I'm just postponing the inevitable and imposing on somebody else's family.

But maybe... just maybe... this will turn into a good thing. Maybe my family really will miss me and recognize that I'm an okay person. Nah!!